It’s hard to "ho ho ho" when you’re sweating like a pig

I know that most of you reading this at the moment could probably look out the window and see snow. If not snow then people in jumpers, coats, gloves and beanies. I look out my window and I see people in singlets, shorts and thongs.

Christmas is great in Australia. It’s hot. Bloody hot. The holidays are full of BBQ’s, cold beer and way too much food. The road is so hot it scorches your feet so you have to walk along the white lines to avoid blisters. The grass is dry, the pools are wet and everyone is out in the sun enjoying the great outdoor lifestyle we are so lucky to have.

I find it very strange that we still hold onto the commercial imagery of a white Christmas here in this country. It’s a little disturbing. I see fat guys in full length suits trying to be happy with kids climbing, sneezing and farting all over him. “Uh, Santa…….IT”S 42 DEGREES” (that’s about 110 fahrenheit) You can walk around shops and see endless caricatures of reindeers, snow, fireplaces packed with presents and any other white Christmas icon you can think of.

Personally I think Santa should be wearing thongs, red stubbies and a singlet. He would give out cans of beer and snags (sausages). He wouldn’t say “ho ho ho” he would say “You bloody ripper” and as for those reindeer! A good old Holden Ute with AC/DC blasting from the stereo would do just nicely. Rudolf’s nose would be red because it was sun-burnt and Mrs Clause would look like this. 

Posted by Peter

Comments

[David]

I hope you're talking about the thongs that I'm thinking about (i.e. the girl on the right and not on the feet of the Santa on the left). Because it's bloody freezing here and I could use something to warm me up

[bill]

I live in Florida although the temp is only 80 degrees, I still find the whole Santa, Snowman, Fireplace thing very strange here.