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November 10, 2005

Tykes & Dykes

Women don't quite fully "get" the fears that men have about their little daughters.  Sure, most women think the whole father-daughter relationship is very endearing.  And personally, I'm always hearing women coo about how cute it is that the Peanut has "got me wrapped around her tiny finger."  While that's all good and true, I don't think most women understand the TRUE sense of overprotectiveness that most men feel towards their daughters.  Let me tell you a little story... 

My brother's friend, Peter, lives in the Park Slope area of Brooklyn with his artist wife and lovely 2-year old daughter.  And, like me, Peter thinks that it's never too early to start worrying about his daughter's future dating life.  Having been a young man himself, he's semi-terrified of when the time comes and his daughter will be the target of young men's fancies.

Whereas I have decided to lock the Peanut in her room until she turns 18 (just kidding, honey.  I think), Peter has decided to take a more novel approach.  For those of you unfamiliar with New York, Park Slope has sometimes been affectionately coined "Tykes & Dykes" (due to the large population of young families and a thriving Gay & Lesbian community.)  It's truly a fantastic place to live and/or raise a family.  Unfortunately, if you haven't been living in Brooklyn for the past 10 years, you probably can't afford it now because housing prices have skyrocketed beyond belief. 

Why the hell am I talking about Park Slope and lesbians?  Because Peter has decided that the best way to keep his daughter from the grasp of horny young men everywhere is to raise her to become a lesbian. Since he and his wife have many lesbian friends in the neighborhood, he's trying to expose his daughter to them as much as possible...taking them up on babysitting offers, spending time with them in Prospect Park, or just dropping by their apartments for unannounced visits. 

Last week, he took his daughter to a playdate with another young girl in the neighborhood.  As they were leaving and the girls were saying goodbye, Peter looked up to see his daughter reach over to the other young girl and kiss her on the lips with an open mouth.  Peter, in a spastic fit of excitement, turned to his wife and yelled, "it's working! It's working!"  Of course, the other parents had no idea what he was talking about.  But that's ok.  Peter was happy.  In fact, it might be said that he's rarely ever been happier.

Hey..we all want to keep our daughters safe from date-raping frat boys, right?  And if there's one thing I've learned as a parent so far, it's that we all take different approaches to parenting.  What works for one may not work for another (and vice versa.)  Our main collective goal should be to nurture and educate our children to become well-rounded adults.   How we all get there is up to you.   So I don't make disparage Peter and his unorthodox ways.  Hell, I know what he's going through.  Though I disagree with his methods, I know his heart's in the right place and I understand the fears that motivate him.  Oh man do I understand the fears. 

Anyway, excuse me while I run.  There's a 8-month old boy ogling my daughter and I've got to go kick his ass. 


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» Park Slope: Raising Tiny Killer Lesbians Since 2001 from Daddy Types
From Overheard In New York: "Little girl: I'm tired of thinking about ponies! Now it's time to kill!" And the lesbians? Metrodad explains that one on Dadcentric in a little post he calls "Tykes & Dykes."... [Read More]


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