Quattro Frommagio! (or "How to be Cheesy")

At heart, I'm a hopeless romantic and an incurable cheeseball.  Nobody except my lovely wife, the BossLady, really knows this about me though.  To the world, I may project an aura of coolness and aplomb.  But deep down inside, I'm really a semi-cheesy goofball (ok...maybe not semi.  And maybe not even deep-down.)  Anyway...

When we're at home and I'm kidding around with my wife, one of my favorite things to do is lay some cheesy pick-up lines on her.  Just my way of showing her some love.  Some of the regular lines on the playlist are:

"Baby, I think there's something in your eye.  Oh no, it's just a sparkle."

"Is your daddy a terrorist?  Because you're the bomb!"

"Honey, I've got a riddle for you.  What's got two thumbs and loves blowjobs?"  Then, I point to myself and say, "This guy!" 

Yes, I know they're absolutely awful.  I started saying these lines to my wife as a joke and to make fun of guys who actually resort to cheap pick-up lines (by the way, do they ever work?).   But it's like crack cocaine.  Once you start doing it, you can't stop.  Anyway, I thought I'd heard all the cheesy lines out there.  But the other day, I was browsing around on the internet because I'd heard that there was a new version of Scrabble out.  Being the Scrabble addict that I am, I thought I'd search it out.  Anyway, somehow I stumbled upon a board game site that had THIS GAME.     And lo and behold, I found a new treasure trove of brand-new pick-lines to use on my wife.  Here were some of my favorites: 

"If you were a burger from McDonald's, I'd call you McBeautiful."

"My love for you is like diarrhea; I just can't hold it in."

"You remind me of a championship bass, I don't know whether to mount you or eat you!"

"Your tag says "Made in the USA," but I could have sworn you were made in Heaven."

"I hope you have a library card because I'm checking you out."

"Excuse me, do you have a Band-Aid because I scraped my knee when I fell for you."

"Are you a parking ticket, because you have FINE written all over you!"

Of course, these are all incredibly cheesy and I can't wait to use them on my lovely wife.  But in the future?  Any guy tries to use these on my daughter?  Don't even think about it, buddy!