Work, Work, Work

While sitting at my desk watching the clock longing for the release from the mindless tedium of work yesterday, I came across a couple of things that I wanted to share. Both involve parenting, which, despite the impression you may have gotten from this site, is serious stuff.

The first is a post from my wife's blog. Seems that well-known mommyblogger Amalah was wrestling with the notion of going back to work after having her first kid, and many of the moms out there are rallying behind her and offering support. Of course, there are those who, from the excellent vantage point offered by the high horse upon which they sit, accuse Amalah of being a bad mom/parent/human being. To them, Beth offers this. Granted, the essay is by and for moms, but we know that there are plenty of dads out there who need to read this (because, as we grow older, we realize that popping people in the mouth is usually going to cause more problems than it solves).

The second is a post from Charlene about the "Family Friendly Workplace". I commented on that post, but on the drive into work today found myself thinking more and more about it.

Charlene is dead-on when she says that company culture ultimately determines whether or not you work for a family-friendly  organization. I have some experience with this; as a recruiter by trade, it falls to me to answer candidates' questions on what value the company places on Work-Life Balance (the PC way of putting it, as the are employees who don't have families but who do have lives outside of the office). It also falls on me to find out what my competitors are doing to attract candidates with families. What I've learned is that the talk and the walk often do not equate. My own experience with my current employer is a great example; when interviewing for the position, the words "flex hours" and "balance" and "making your priorities ours" were bandied about. Yet a year after signing on, I've only taken 3 days off, and have received a fair share of grief for taking next week off for the holidays (yes, for me it's The Holidays - I'm half Jew, remember?).

It;s safe to say that when it comes to balancing work with family, dads get the short end of the stick - why is it, as Rebel Dad would say, that being a SAHD or even a dad who works from home is such an act of revolution? Ask your Sociology professor. As the New Year rolls in, so do new jobs and the desire to look for one. Some pointers for you, from a pro (ha!), on ways to get the skinny on a company's take on Work-Life Balance:

• Network, network, network. If you're a Professional, there are plenty of networking sources available - local career-related organizations, message boards, even blogs. Use these to meet and talk to people like you, working in the trenches, and find out the REAL story on a company's views on family. Guys like me will paint a rosy picture (actually, I don't - I find that honesty is the best policy).
• Research. Yes, the parenting mags and websites can be useful, but can also tend to swing wide with their assessments of companies - they'll canonize the "good" organizations, and demonize the "bad". Other business pubs can provide a much more balanced look at how family-friendly a company is. (I'll get back to this idea, the notion of balance, in a second).
• Interview and assess that company's management AND employees. I'll expand on what I said in my comments to Charlene's piece. When you're talking with your potential boss, be observant. Is the person a family man/woman? Are there pictures of the wife/husband/kids in the office? If not - and I can't stress this enough - THEY WILL NOT AND CANNOT EMPATHIZE WITH YOU ON FAMILY ISSUES. (Time for a bit of controversy: the worst bosses I've had were middle-aged divorced women. One word: BITTER.) And ask your potential boss if you can meet with some of your potential co-workers and talk to them about the environment. More often than not, they'll tell you the truth about the company. A good hiring manager will encourage this; a bad one won't allow it.
• Set realistic expectations. The Dot Com Boom saw companies that were at the forefront of Work-Life Balance; ubercasual, parent-friendly environments were the norm. And look how many of those survived. The fact is that businesses are businesses, and they'll accomodate a parent's needs only if the company benefits. To quote a well-known Vulcan paraphrasing Dickens: "The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few." Work-Life Balance is just that; a give-and-take between the employee and the organization. Your ultimate goal should be to look for reciprocity - if your company expects you to put in the occasional 10 to 12 hour day, you in return should expect to have no questions asked when you need to take some time off to be with your family.