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January 20, 2006

I'm too old for this shit...

Image_1I really shouldn't complain.  Our child is a pretty good sleeper.  Her naps are predictable, she always craps out during Access Hollywood or Extra! (my concession to my darling wife, who allows me to watch Predator for the 500th time whenever it's on), and when she gets up in the morning she's friendly and cheerful.  It's her timing in the morning that's killing me.

You see, I'm a night person.  Always have been, always will be.  The thought of going to bed before midnight is taboo, and I have no problem staying up until 2 AM playing the new Prince of Persia or searching endlessly for that one Bizarro cartoon I saw 14 years ago that fits perfectly with the blog entry I want to write.  Back in the day, I could be out 'til 3 AM four nights in a row and be as perky as Katie Couric on amphetamines on day five.  I've been blessed with an innate ability to fall into a deep sleep the second my head hits the pillow, and can time my snooze alarm slaps to get into work precisely 30 seconds before getting busted.

Or so I thought...

Apparently, this talent, like my forehand stroke and my favorite t-shirts, has gradually disappeared without my knowledge.  This uncomfortable reality had been hidden by a less rowdy lifestyle and loose definition of when I need to be at work the last few years.  My daughter, however, has no interest in adhering to her daddy's sleep cycles, and has timed her morning jabber-fests and wails to that evil hour just before you're ready to get up.  You know that time...when even if you could go back to sleep you wouldn't get enough before you had to get up for it to be worth it.  And if I try to adjust, she adjusts with me, just to remind me who's boss.

They say that practice makes perfect, but I've been practicing this for six months and I seem to be getting worse at it.  Maybe I should just accept my lot and start going to bed earlier....

It's 12:02 AM....ha!  I made it. 


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