Oops, I [Almost] Did It Again

My wife and I finally were able to enjoy a rather frisky morning of lovin', touchin' and squeezin', thanks to our recently purchased Elmo DVD (You da man, Mo!).  Aaaah, just like old times...well, except for the fact that it wasn't even 7am yet, we weren't hungover and, instead of Beck's "Sea Change", we were getting it on to the romantic musings of a glorified sock puppet in the other room.  Hey, you gotta get it when the gettin's good.  Anyway, the next day, my wife informs me that we may have cut it a little close with the whole "timing" and "cycle" thing.  I don't remember the last time I went commando while doing the nasty with my wife.  If I had to guess, I'd say it was almost exactly 2 years, 8 months and 20 days ago.  Strangely enough, that's around the same time my daughter was conceived.  Funny how that works.

So, hearing that from my wife sent a cold shiver up my spine, spawned a small bout of uncontrollable panic and introduced me to the thrills of hyperventilation.  Although we haven't officially closed the door on more kids, neither of us is ready for another right now. That's putting it mildly.   

Surprisingly, my wife suggested the Plan B pill.  I wasn't too familiar with it since, other than a condom every once in a blue moon, the bulk of our contraception is usually handled the old-fashioned way in this house - kids.  So, I never really had to think much about that stuff.  She explained that it contains something called Levonorgestrel - which I think is IKEA for "hormones" - that delays the release, launch, jettison (or whatever they call it) of her egg.  So, my boys are left milling around up in there looking for love in all the wrong places and eventually die at the ripe old age of 3 days.  The egg eventually continues on its journey to die a bloody death.  It's just a little later than usual.

The next morning we were able to find a pharmacy nearby that dispensed it without a prescription which was a fucking relief since I was sweating bullets and beside myself the entire day prior nice, to say the least.  $34 dollars later, we have some peace of mind.  There were some mild side effects like light dizziness and nausea the first day or so.  And, of course, those side effects eerily mimic early pregnancy which kind of squashed any peace of mind we thought we had.  But they seemed to have gone away and we're pretty confident that all is well in Uteropolis now.   

I must admit, when I dropped her off at the curb so I could find parking, I kind of felt like I was dropping her off at "the clinic", if you know what I mean.  However, Plan B is nothing like that.  If you're pregnant, it won't work at all.  It doesn't abort anything.  It just acts like a concentrated, fast-acting version of "The Pill".  And I'm happy it was available.