Splinter Cell: Infant Evasion

We were out visiting some relatives a couple nights ago, and our daughter completely crashed before we were ready to leave.  She hadn't been sleeping well the last few nights--which meant that we hadn't been sleeping well the last few nights--and we were stressed that the transfer home was going to wake her up and turn us both into Pacino from Insomnia.  It was a complicated situation, exacerbated by strollers, taxis, steps, locked doors, and a freezing, windy night. 

Somehow we managed to wrap her in blankets and get her through the reward challenge without disturbing her.  Once we got home I pulled the short straw and had the honor of getting her into her crib.  This is tricky on a good night--somewhere in that still-developing, completely comatose brain of hers she knows when she's put down.  One false move and "BWAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!"  I silently padded into her bedroom, adjusted her blanket, and gently placed her in the crib.

Just as I lifted my hands off her little body, she let out a sigh, and I saw her eyes open.  Instantly, and without thinking, I hit the deck.  If I could get my head below the bumper of the crib, maybe she wouldn't see me.  I was in a full ninja-crouch, tips of my fingers pressed to the pink carpet, holding myself completely still so she wouldn't hear me.  I could hear her movement above my head.  Was she adjusting herself in her sleep?  Or had she raised her head to look for me?  If she saw me I was done for...she'd be up, and the next few hours would be a sleep-deprived hell

The door was across the room, and the lights in the next room were all on.  How would I get out without her noticing?  I had no zip line, no protective cover...just 12 feet of open space and guts. Staying in my stealth crouch, I shimmied along the wall, making my way slowly to the door.  I executed a swat turn across the door frame to get to the handle, and cracked the door just wide enough to slide through.  I checked one last time to see if her little bald head was peaking over the bumper.  It looked good.  I made my move, and silently latched the door behind me.

I was pretty proud of myself for escaping the target zone without any casualties.  I'm glad I wasn't asked to do anything athletic like a suspended split-jump, or more forceful, like taking a hostage and using them as a human shield.  But I'd have done it to if I had to.  For peace.