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Because it's Friday, I thought I'd offer up something that had nothing to do with much of anything, although one could make the argument that since it's football-related, it certainly has a place on this blog.
I had it in mind to write a lengthy intro to what I'm about to show you all. But some things just defy...everything. I can pretty much guarantee that you've never seen anything quite like this.
What the fuck, Chuck? Can someone please explain to me what the hell is going on in the parenting blogosphere? I expect vitriol and ad hominem attacks on political and gamer blogs (Master Chief is just a manifestation of testosterone- and Mountain Dew-fueled geek rage - bunch of posers). But c'mon people. We're talking about parenting here. Y'know, the whole "different strokes," "you take the good, you take the bad" stuff. I suspect for many people, their blog is multi-faceted. On one hand, it's a place where they talk about their children, their exploits and the trials and tribulations of raising a family. On another, it's a place to vent/rant or to expose the vulnerabilities and foibles that make us human - those which cause us to question/affirm our own abilities to parent and raise children. On another (three hands? who are you? Vishnu?), it's a good place for milk-out-the-nose, laugh-inducing links, in addition to the deep introspection, of course.
I know there are those people out there who will say, "Well, you accept comments, you have to expect it, especially if you're gonna be controversial at times." <sarcasm>Do I?</sarcasm> I've written "controversial" posts on this site before. Hell, I posted on circumcision right out the gate here at DadCentric. Didn't really touch a nerve (sorry) with many visitors - a whopping twelve comments. And not one of them called me a monster for circumcising my son. Actually, we don't get a lot of "haters" here anyway, so it's a rather moot point - we pretty much came out as an irreverent look on parenting from the get-go. I guess what I'm trying to say is that if you don't have M.D. or Ph.D. after your name, you should probably check your self-righteous attitudes at the door - and even if you do have those initials, you should probably do the same since y'all can't agree on anything anyway.
So, before I leave, I have some questions for you experienced (and neophyte) parents out there. First, anyone know if there's a company that makes something like this to keep a pacifier in during the night? Little Dub keeps losing his and then screams bloody murder until someone finds it and puts it back in his mouth at 2am. Second, I know leashes engender a lot of controversy and there are pros and cons to using them, but what about four-point restraints for keeping baby in the crib? Is that too much?
p.s.: Go read Metro's post on this very topic over at his site - it is well worth the read
I posted over at my personal blog about an experience I had that showed very comically the differences between boys and girls.
I know that everyone should be treated as equals and I try to do this whenever I can, but this still doesn’t stop the fact that boys and girls grow up and act in different ways.
For example:-
Girls
Smell nice and look lovely
Boys
Pee standing up and break things
Girls
Will remember something you did to them 4 years ago and make the rest of your life a misery for it
Boys
Will punch you in the face and then share their toys with you
You see what I mean, if you don’t, go over to my post and you will see what I’m talking about.
So how about you guys, what are some of the funny things you have seen that really puts the boys and girls in different genres / positions / planets?
Tomorrow is "Take Your Child To Work Day" at my office. This means I get to bring along my 7-year-old stepdaughter for an 8hr lesson in work ethics. Educational highlights will include:
I hope she has fun. Have you guys ever done this?
This weekend, Mia was playing with her books - she loves pulling them out of the baskets we have them in - and I figured I'd read a couple to her while she was happy to sit in one place. I eventually stumbled onto I Love You As Much... After I'd read the last page, I discovered that I was just a bit miffed. Don't get me wrong, it's a fine book. But here is this author with a great venue and she doesn't once mention a dad. No, it's just mommy this and mommy that. So, I decided to so something about that.
I give you Daddy Loves You As Much... by yours truly.
According to recent news reports,
Britney Spears has had it with the spend-happy ways of her hubby, Kevin
Federline (nicknamed "Daddy Spenderline") and insiders say she has put
Federline on a strict budget.
Insiders said Spears has put Federline...on a budget. "Each month, he will be allotted a certain amount of money for personal use - i.e., clothing, nightclubs, booze and day-to-day activities. Any big items - cars, or trips that go over allowance - need to be approved by Brit herself," said one source.
Of course, this isn't surprising, considering money problems are a big cause of stress in most marriages.
Back when I was a young ingenue, I remember being somewhat shocked at overhearing a friend's answers when asked "at one point did he really feel like he was married?" Being the sentimental romantic that I am, I expected to hear him say "when we were up at the altar" or "when we were on our honeymoon." Never did I expect to hear the response, "when we got a joint checking account."
Here at Casa Metro, we intermingle all finances. However, I'll be honest with you. It took me and BossLady quite awhile to learn how to manage money together. Even now, we haven't gotten it totally figured out. On the one hand, we want to share everything equally. On the other hand, it's nice to have a little bit of financial independence.
The problem is further augmented by having a child. There's less wiggle room. Disposable income is no longer as disposable anymore. We have to worry about paying for daycare, saving for college, and planning for retirement. It only adds to the stress of managing our finances.
The one thing that BossLady and I did agree on is that we would never fight about money. We might have arguments or disagreements but we never fight about it. This is easier said than done and it actually took us a few years to learn how to master this part of being a couple.
But I'm still curious about how other married couples with kids manage their finances. I've polled many of our friends and I've heard a wide diaspora of different answers. What about you, my friends? Do you and your spouse have separate accounts? Are you each responsible for paying different household expenses? Do you contribute to retirement accounts equally? If you mingle all monies, how do you buy one another birthday presents? Any tips, tricks, hints or suggestions?
An inquiring mind wants to know.
Nothing's too good for my girls. This is precisely the reason I decided to bring home someone's turtle sandbox that I found discarded on the curb in front of their house. I didn't even attempt this embarrassing maneuver under the cover of darkness. Nope. I did it in broad daylight...in front of the park we go to all the time...waving to our neighbors as I did it. I threw it in the back of the truck, took a swig of Night Train and brought it home. $16 worth of sand later and, viola!, we've got ourselves a ghetto "beach" (as my daughter calls it) in our backyard. One man's junk is this man's 30-45 minutes of peace and quiet.
The "G." is for gimme dat free shit.
shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up
Seriously, shut up.
I shouldn't complain, because it was a gift, and Cheeky likes to slap it. But it only takes one careless tap for it to play a three minute version of "La Cucaracha", and when you walk away it maniacally calls after to you--literally--with "More! More!" What sadistic bastard would do this to parents?
My daughter had better damn well grow up to be Patty Schemel or something....
One of the many things I hate about my '94 POS Ranger: no power windows. Back when I was fresh out of college and semi-poor, power windows (and power steering and power brakes and A/C and even a friggin' stereo) seemed to be frivolous. I just needed the truck to get me to work, to the beach, to the mountains, and to the bars. Reaching across the passenger seat to roll down the right window was hard before the kid seat was installed; now when Lucas is riding shotgun it's impossible.
Wish I'd thought of that when I bought the thing. Because the other morning, on the daycare/work commute, there was a bug in the car. A little flying bug. "Daddy! Whaddat?" "It's a bug, little man." "Oh!" I didn't know what kind of bug it was, only that it was buzzing around Lucas' face. He found it fascinating. "Oh! Bug!", with accompanying giggles. "Hi bug! Hi bug!" I envisioned itchy red welts on the kid's cheeks, nose, and forehead; we haven't had to contend with a sting or a bite yet, and, well, not on MY watch, mister! Power windows would've solved the problem; roll it down, bug is sucked out, end of story.
As it was, I had to wait for my moment. It came - the morning Amtrak rumbled past, distracting Lucas ("Oh! Choo choo!"), the bug chose that moment to land on the dash, I delivered an open-palm smack (quietly, so the kid doesn't hear), and the bug was off to Bug Heaven.
The train quickly disappeared, and Lucas turned his attention back to the confines of the truck. And immediately noticed that we were short a crew member. "Oh! Where bug go?"
"Uh...the bug is all gone, buddy."
Pauses, looks around, "Daddy! Where bug go?"
"He went away, Lucas."
Pauses, looks around. "Oh!", he says, and is that disappointment I hear? Sadness, even?
It occurred to me that this happened, what, days ago, and for some reason I've been thinking about that drive, and I still feel like shit. Over a bug.
Do you know that we talk about all you guys on a regular basis? Yup. Made you paranoid now, huh?
Yes, at the HipMamaB/PetCobra house we talk about you guys like we talk about our families or IRL (in real life) friends. A normal dinner conversation may include things like “Oh, did you see Mia is crawling?” or “I’m really jealous of Whiff’s new Harley.” (ha, not to hard to guess which quote was from who) Some of our less tech savvy friends and relatives think it’s kinda strange that we reference our “friends” on a regular basis, but as we see it the scope of friendship has really changed due to The Internets.
When I was first pregnant, and totally obsessive, I found the “expecting club” message boards on IVillage. Pretty much it was a message board of 100+ woman, all due in March 2004, and all equally as obsessed with every twinge, pound and Dr’s appointment. One of the “things” you did on the board was find your “DDBs” (due date buddies) and that’s where I “met” Tiff, from Houston, who shared this glorious estimated arrival date of our first baby together. Every week we posted about topics such as “3/9ers – How much weight are we up now?” and “30 weeks! Only 10 more to go!” with the few other women also destined to birth their babies on March 9th. Well, Tiff and I sealed our bond when on March 2nd, we both delivered via c/sec. Now think about this. Here is this woman half way across the country who ovulated, had sex and conceived a baby boy at pretty much the exact same time as I did. Only something you could find on The Internets…really, not something you come across just walking down the streets of downtown San Diego.
The other interesting part is that Tiff and I really are a lot alike. We have the same parenting views, we both work, and both of our boys seem to have the exact same excruciatingly high energy levels. Over the past 2 years, Tiff and I have really gotten close; we IM, we call each other – but we had never actually met. So does this make her less of a friend?
Think about it. We all regularly read intimate details about each others' lives. We know that Metro just got back from Vietnam, and Peter regularly keeps up to date on being a dad down under. We know more about each other than our "real life friends" do, and honestly we keep in better contact than some. But because we have never sat down and shared a babysitter and a beer together, does that not really make us “friends?”
What really got me thinking about all this is that Tiff and her brood are out here in San Diego this weekend and last night we met them for dinner. And I swear, it was just like seeing an old college buddy…
Here’s to all you interesting Internets folks – we hope to one day meet you all in a less electronic setting!
[Written by Beth, aka Mrs. Jason]
