Oh Man - We're So Fucked

I swear. My wife swears. It’s all part of the Australian dialect. Really it is.

“Mate, she was pissed when I got home, mad as a cut snake; I fucking missed me train and didn’t call to tell her not to pick me up from the station. I was really in the shit”

You get the idea. So now that my daughter is a little repeating machine, what the hell am I supposed to do!!

She has already dropped a few f-bombs here and there and I’m waiting for the day that she says something to the local nun or easily offended old person.

I can just imagine it, some old lady stopping me in the shopping centre and saying “oh my, what a beautiful daughter you have, what’s her name”

“fffffuck” Says my daughter while nodding and smiling.

“Well…..I never.” Says the old lady as she backs away gasping for air and pointing at my little daughter with a look of utter contempt and disgust on her face.

“Fuck” I say “I really have to stop saying that……..oh dammit”

So I need your help internet. How do you either

A.     Stop yourself from swearing

OR

B.     Teach your kids that you can swear but they cannot

OR

C.     Make up legitimate swearwords like pruck, shpit and crunt without sounding like a dick

Any ideas?