Last week marked the theatrical debut of my 7-year-old stepdaughter. If you've never experienced a 1st Grade Play then you just don't know what you're missing. There's lots of bumblebees, talking trees, fairies and the inevitable drone of 22 kids reciting lines in unison with the enthusiasm of a chain gang and the collective attention span of a gnat. You'll always find one kid picking his/her nose, waving to their parental unit, pulling another kid's fake tail or trembling on the verge of tears.
Not our child, though. She handled herself like a professional. She never missed a beat or cue and portrayed her character, Miss Mousie, with depth and conviction. It was as if the story before us was non-fiction. For a few moments there I truly was convinced that, had Miss Mousie not finished cleaning her home, the birthday party for the Lazy Gnome would surely have gone awry, the bumblebees would have flown away and the gay-looking kid with the moss on his head would've had to do whatever it was he kept mumbling he'd have to do if the house wasn't ready in time.
About the only thing that could've had my stepdaughter stammering on stage was her younger sister yelling at her from the audience. Imagine the distraction of having a familiar voice constantly screaming your name. The temptation to acknowledge the cries would be unbearable. But, no. She didn't even flinch and remained in character. It was quite impressive.
[Finally realizing that Big Sister wasn't going to respond, our littlest one subsequently diverted her attention to the rest of audience and unleashed a barrage of announcements that included details on each instance of her farts, ownership of her Mother's boobs and the whereabouts of her missing sippy cup. We are now very, very popular amongst the other parents as you can imagine.]
After assessing her talent on stage, I'd have to say that my stepdaughter has out shined her Stepdaddy, who will no longer be able to rest on the laurels of his performance of "Betty Botter" some 30-odd years ago during his 1st Grade Play. And to her I say, well done.