A ground-breaking new study indicates that women like guys who like kids, and that they use mens' facial expressions to gauge whether or not they'd be a good life partner, or a mere roll in the hay. DadCentric has obtained exclusive access to the study, including photos of some of the men that were used as test subjects. The results? Surprising.
This gentleman fared poorly. Notes on him included the following:
"Chest like a cancer patient." "I most certainly do not want to feel his serpentine...tine." "Clearly a commitment-phobe. Ten years for Chinese Democracy?""A bandanna and a Swatch? These speak of a Peter Pan complex on a scale unheard of." "I thought Kevin Federline was already married."
This gentleman drew mixed reviews. "I think it's weird that he looks like Arvin Sloane." "Well, I'm not sure I'm into the Israel-will-burn-in-an-ocean-of-atomic-fire thing, but he has nice taste in podium decor. He could do the flowers at the wedding, saving us a bundle.""I once dated a Mahmoud in college. I'm pretty sure it wasn't this guy, unless he was a Teke - could be him, though...I drank a lot back then.""He's a haughty hottie!""Sorry - I'm not into Pure Evil." "
This gentleman also drew mixed reviews. "I think it's nice that this survey included head trauma victims." "That sweater makes him look fat, and those eyebrows are unfortunate." "He is shockingly handsome, virile, and brilliant to boot. I believe I speak for all women everywhere when I say that I wish to breed with him." (Editor's note: the last comment is under investigation; it was the only one that was handwritten, and appeared on the back of a used Carl's Jr. napkin.)
This gentleman received no comments.
This gentleman received mostly negative comments. "Oh, this was when he was trying to look like Nicole.""Oddly, the puffy shirt suits him." "I feel the need...the need to run away screaming.""He's old enough to be Kirsten Dunst's creepy domineering Scientologist boyfriend.""I'm just not sure that a young hotshot loner, who lives on the edge, goes against his superiors (who grudgingly recognize that he's the best high school football player/fighter pilot/NASCAR driver/bisexual vampire/secret agent they've ever seen), woos the hot female expert on football/NASCAR/fighter piloting/vampiring/secret agenting, and ultimately learns to be a team player, gaining the respect of his rivals, is husband/father material."
This guy was the hands-down favorite. The responses were all the same: "I kiss you!"
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