Goolijang Alert!

Ok, I have a problem. A Big problem!

I thought it would be a great idea to teach my daughter how to give flying fun cuddles. You know the ones. When they yell out “DADDY!!!!” and run at you full pace, arms outstretched slamming into your chest in a flurry of two year old arms, legs and kisses.

It’s the stuff that makes your day. Until…….

You discover that your daughter has gotten taller in the past couple of months. This combined with their increased confidence and speed means that they will run towards you fully expecting a ‘FRC’ (flying run cuddle) even when you are not crouching down to receive one.

This in itself isn’t too bad until they SMACK YOU FAIR IN THE FUCKING GOOLIJANGS!

Let me tell you, a two year olds head at 80kms an hour into your testicles is not my idea of a great cuddle. Sure, your kid will be laughing their arse off when you are lying on the floor in the agony only males can know.

Hell they might even give you a bit of lip whilst you’re down there “daddy fall down.......... get up daddy.........daddy?”

So beware blokes, FRC’s come at a cost.