To Ignominy And Beyond!

"I be Buzz. You be Zurg!"

I got worries.

Lucas is a Toy Story fan. So when it came time to figure out what he was going to be for Halloween (this was decided about a month ago, actually - clearly we're losing the battle to avoid becoming one of Those People; you know, the ones who get all of their Christmas shopping done in June) it was a no-brainer. Woody or Buzz. Lucas' friend Gavin was going as Woody. Decision made. The costume arrived, we made the mistake of letting him try it on (yes, folks, two year olds really don't grasp the idea that Halloween comes but once - one day - really, a mere couple of hours on said day at that - and, yeah, we didn't see the whole "moving forward, I will wear my Buzz costume every day of the week, else I shall throw a tantrum the likes of which God has never seen!" thing coming, perhaps because we're not smart), and I (not smart!) casually mentioned to Lucas that I would be Zurg.

Now, back in Tha Day, I was an exceptional costume guy. I was creative, resourceful, and above all else a strict devotee of the Guys' Golden Rule Of Halloween Costume (that is, above all else, a Halloween costume's purpose is get you laid. Hence, the World War II Fighter Ace, Han Solo, Professional Thief - all black is very slimming, you know - Pimped Out Devil; all worked like a charm.) The past few years have seen a decline in my costume designing prowess. But I figured this would be easy - hell, there's gotta be a Zurg costume for sale somewhere.

Wrong. Well, there is a $70 Zurg costume, but $70? Nein, danke.

So now I'm in a bind. The kid knows Halloween is coming up, and several times a day I hear "I be Buzz. You be Zurg!" For some reason, he wants Beth to be a ghost. Me, I get stuck with the hopeless task of coming up with a Zurg costume. And so I look forward (by that I mean "dread") to what will certainly be the first of Lucas' many holiday-related disappointments. I'm sure he'll want a BB gun for Christmas.