The Pleasure Principle

WARNING: POTENTIALLY OFFENSIVE ADULT CONTENT

I was just perusing Iranian Supreme Leader Sayyid Ali Khameini's Q&A on masturbation during Ramadan [as I normally do this time of year] and came across a couple things that I found a bit odd.  I thought I'd throw them out there for you guys to chew on.  Ladies, I warned you - although, deep down I think you like reading about this stuff.

Right off the bat we're given this confusing notion:

"Deliberate masturbation during the month of Ramadan renders a fast invalid"

OK, OK, I get how rubbing one out might screw up one's fast.  After all, it's forbidden I believe. That concept is not difficult to grasp.  However, the very fact that he used the word deliberate kind of infers that you could end up masturbating accidentally, doesn't it?  How the hell does that happen?  "Oops. I should be more careful about where I put my hand next time I move it aggressively in a manner resembling a rubbing motion."  I don't get it.  What are they doing over there?

Next we're given this:

"If somebody masturbates during the month of Ramadan but without any discharge, is his fasting invalidated?"

Well shit, if he didn't get any discharge out of the deal, I'd say his fast wasn't the only thing that was invalidated, wouldn't you?  Not to knock one's methods, but, fucking read your owner's manual next time, guy.  The discharge is the whole point, you freak.

So, you gotta wonder about the men of Iran.  I know they don't get a lot of secular Western influence in those parts, but, it's not like you need to watch American Pie to figure this shit out either.  It's rub, wipe, goodnight!  Male 101.  And the poor women of Iran.  It's bad enough their societal status is just one click higher than a doorknob.  Now they're sentenced to a population of Neanderthal men who can't even figure out how to pleasure themselves, much less their doorknob woman?? 

God bless America.