Boys on the Side

My wife and I have recently engaged in a trial run of life sans meat.  It's not very hard, and at times can be quite entertaining, as I have to go to greater and more creative lengths to fill my stomach with something other than Sweetarts and whisky.

The challenge has been cooking for the kids.  Neither my wife or I have any delusions about us becoming full-fledged, dues paying vegetarians, and for that reason we have decided not to force even a temporary flax-seed diet on our boys.  It's bad enough we're making them Yankees fans.

However, if I am preparing a meal for the entire family, which with my wife working long hours usually consists of just me and Things 1 and 2, respectively, it becomes less a matter of creativity and more an issue of laziness and time management.

Like any man in a meatless marriage, I have found myself searching for fulfillment on the side.  In this case sides, plural.  Our meals have become more about what surrounds the now vacant space on our plate than what was once in said space.

For instance, we just had mashed potatoes, macaroni and cheese, and a lightly buttered english muffin for lunch.  Last night we had salad, strawberries and about a dozen chocolate chip cookies for dinner and the subsequent dessert.  Basically, we eat on the side.  On the side of what? Caution.

Our kids, specifically the 3 1/2 year old, eat fairly well.  He has equal amounts soy and cow juice.  He eats more apples than candy. Relatively speaking, the kids have a more balanced diet than I do.  Plus, they get more exercise.

I'm just afraid that a lack of meat, or to be more precise, the growth hormone found in meat, is going to keep my boys off of the basketball team.  I need my boys to get scholarships.  I haven't saved a dime for their eduction.

For the time being we're going forward with our current menu status, and that is going to mean preparing additional items for the kids or discovering more creative combinations of non-meat items.

Who knows, this could be broccoli's chance to redeem itself.