Not the Happiest Place on Earth

What would you pay to have your pocket picked by the Artful Dodger or have a chance to go toe-to-toe with Bill Sikes?  How about being transported back to your youth by the Ghost of Christmas Past?  I say, "Whatever it takes, man.  I've got to go back to those "Best and Worst of Times."

That's right folks, get ready for Dickens World, a £62 million ($115 million) complex built on the naval dockyard in Chatham, Kent, opening later this month.  The Dickensian-themed attraction will be indoor and recreate the architecture of the period as well as feature the thieves, murderers, ghosts, dandies and degenerates that make up Dickens' novels.  Guests can enjoy (and I use that term loosely...very loosely) seeing Mr. Pickwick and Miss Havisham in the Haunted House or children can hang out in Fagin's Den of Thieves -- sure, those same children may leave saying this like "'Allo, guv'nor" and be skilled in the art of picking pockets and fencing, but talk about being street smart.  Maybe they even get a chance to stay in Newgate Prison -- good times, good times.

Critics are expressing some scorn and decrying the Disneyfication of Dickens: ""There is a lot to fear here," The New York Times said. "There is the prospect that characters from Dickens' novels - Mr Pecksniff and the Artful Dodger, Mr Pickwick and Uriah Heep - will wander through Dickens World the way Goofy and Mickey walk the streets of Disneyland."  Manager Ross Hutchins denies this is this case, arguing "The Dickens Fellowship has been consulted throughout the process of developing the Dickens World and guarantees as much authenticity as possible. So don't expect a clean and tame Disneyland, but a dark, dirty and dank London populated by thieves, murderers and ghosts."

Would I go should I ever find myself in Chatham?  Sure, why the hell not.  I could get a t-shirt with "I went to Dickens World and all I got was this lousy t-shirt and a case of consumption" or "Edwin Drood was pushed."  I'd go to Dante's Inferno World if they built one.  Imagine how thrilling the "Circles of Hell" ride would be.

Sidenote: in the interest of self-promotion, please visit Dad Said, Mom Said where Mrs. Big Dubya and I discuss the possibility and "oh, hell no" aspect of having a third child.  Thanks.