Makes pitching inside a bit tough

I have something to say, but I'm afraid I might offend some of you.

Wow, I almost wrote that entire sentence with a straight face.  Actually, I'm not sure offend is the right word.  Some of you might agree with me and some of you will rail on and on about how good it is for the kids.  Anyway....

I don't get t-ball.

Maybe it's because I didn't play as a child.  It wasn't an option when I was growing up.  Not in my town at least.  No, I learned how to play ball the old fashioned way -- in the side yard as my father taunted me.  I kid, I kid.  My father pitched to my brother and I for hours on end repeating "keep your eye on the ball" with every toss.  Most times he escaped blistering line shots because, well, we sucked.  Other times, when we actually listened to the "keep your eye on the ball" mantra, he would need to call on those lightning fast, catlike reflexes or risk never being able to have additional children.  Other times, we spent time learning how to catch and field using pitchbacks, playing rundown using curbstone corners as bases or finely honing that hand-eye coordination playing halfball or stickball - it's a Northeast thing.

My friends and I started playing organized ball at around 7.  We started in farm league, practicing and playing games wearing our Toughskins and t-shirts with the sponsor on the back.  Weekends were spent in vacant lots or on the field at the elementary school we attended.  There were usually enough kids around to field two entire teams, maybe three.  Hell, I know two families who alone could have fielded two teams with a bullpen and base coaches.  And we played for hours.  And hours.  Play a game and the losers sit.  Did I say losers?  Yes, yes I did.  Because we always...ALWAYS...knew the score.

Which brings me back to t-ball.  I just don't get it.  Maybe it's because I'm from a different era when you knew the score.  You tried to strike guys out.  You always knew who was covering second for the double play.  And you knew who the cut-off man was.  Allowing a team to bat around was bad.  Being the team to bat around was good.  There were only nine players on the field at once.  Being on the receiving end of a slaughter rule sucks huge moose...well, you know what I mean.

Many of you will say, "Well, it's good for younger children."  You might be right about that.  But, by the same token, do we want 4- or 5-year-olds playing organized sports?  When I was 5, we made up our own rules for the most part.  Then again, at 4 or 5 you barely have an understanding of the concept of sharing and your attention span is as long as that of a gnat.  Isn't the infield fly rule a bit much?  Have you ever tried to explain the Mendoza line to a six-year-old?

Maybe I'll be singing a different tune when Little Dub starts making noise about playing something.  If it is t-ball, I plan to go by Danny's rules.  Then again, given his tornado traits, maybe he'll prefer violence with grace.