Soundings

Early on, I decided that the next time would be different. I was a savvy veteran – the whole “life-changing” thing had been lived through, not only did we endure, we prevailed, and the near constant sense of panic lined with giddiness would surely be absent. Preparations would proceed at a measured pace. We’d stockpiled most of the things we’d need, essential items kept, notated, and boxed. What we didn’t have was either a miscalculation the first time, thus unnecessary, or could easily be purchased at a later date. The books we kept, the classes we’d remember. It would be a smooth experience, a happy sail on the calm waters of a well-traveled bay.

This morning, then: the wand gliding across Beth’s smooth belly. Lucas looking at an amorphous image, with a softly spoken greeting: “Hi baby.” The candlelight flicker of a heartbeat. Each a quiet exaltation. My God, so warmly familiar, so amazingly new, the wonder of it.