The Official DadCentric Guide To What To Get Dad For Dad's Day That I Actually Wrote For A Site For Moms

I don't pay much attention to Father's Day - I'm an Arbor Day man myself - but Charlene Prince Birkeland asked me to send along some suggestions on what to get the dad who has everything but still wants more, greedy bastard. You'll be the first against the wall when the revolution comes, capitalist running dog lackey dad who has everything. Vive la guerra! Anyways. This is what I came up with.

Rounding out the top ten: a jet-powered hang glider, a submarine, a lifetime supply of Triscuits, a couple of hours with Alan Thicke, the original master reels of the Beach Boys' "Smile" (and people laughed at me when I said I was sending my sidekick Kato, a ninja schooled in the ancient art of hypnosis, to pay Brian Wilson a visit. Bidding starts at $320,000; email me if you want in), and a pony.

Comments

[dadofgage]

As long as I've read this column, I didn't know that you were an HR professional as well. Being in the field for seven years myself, really prepares you for having children. At times, I think the maturity level of my two year old boy far exceeds the "adults" I have to deal with at work.

[honglien123]

Dude, I actually DID buy my hubby a crockpot. I'm so glad I rock.

[Dad Gone Mad]

I'd be happy with a blow job and some Chicken McNuggets.

[Greg]

Last Year Beautiful Wife let me go for a motorcycle ride for a whole day! It was awesome, the gift of guilt-free time. I wish I'd seen this post earlier - I'd have been dropping hints about the jet powered hang glider. Cool.