Kicked to the Curb

There was a time, not so long ago, when a certain helium-voiced monster dominated every waking minute of our lives.  I'd close my eyes and remember that the Noodle family are actually accomplished actors, not just annoying buffoons who can't follow the instructions of 4 year-olds.  And don't get me started on that bitch Bubbles Martin.  WORST.  CARTOONS.  EVER.

But suddenly, and without warning, the little red beast was dumped.  Discarded.  Pancaked.  No "we're just taking a break," or "we can still be friends."   Elmo was canned with the swiftness and finality of Admiral Ozzel.

Cheeky's got a new hoochie.  She's got big brown eyes, a talking backpack, and some freakish Joan Embery animal-communication skills.  And she brooks no competition for our daughter's attention.

At first I was relieved.  I'd had quite enough of "ELMO HAS MAIL!  ELMO HAS MAIL!" and "Jingle Bells" may be permanently ruined for me.  And when Cheeky proudly proclaimed that she was "Dos!" on her second birthday we thought Dora was turning our child into a bilingual genius. 

But it happened so fast, and so fiercely, that my wife and I had a surprising reaction.

We felt bad for Elmo. 

I mean, the guy was her world for a year, and now he was some reject she'd change her e-mail to avoid.  We'd see him stuffed face-first in the corner of her crib or find a sheet of Elmo stickers in a drawer and reminisce.  "Remember when she loved Elmo?"  We'd even try to put him on every once in a while, just to make him feel better, but she'd have none of it. 

Elmo sucks.  Dora rules!

Now the floodgates have opened, and we've got Dora Legos, Dora Playdough, Dora dolls, and (of course) Dora stickers.  We all know the way to the Tall Mountain and the Yellow Valley, and sing the map songs together.  But I can't help but think, "How long will this last?" 

We all know it's just a matter of time when Dora & Boots join Blue and Elmo on the side of the road, under a sign that says "Welcome to Dumpsville:  Population YOU"

Comments

[Mrs. Jason]

We totally know this feeling. With Lucas its "duckies". He used to HAVE to have "duckie/binky" all the time. When we finally gave up the binky, duckies importance fell also. The other night Lucas was asleep for hours when I walked into our bedroom to find Duckies crumpled up on the floor.. not needed.. and it almost made me cry.

[Ryan]

Before I had kids I -hated- Elmo and liked Dora just fine. Oddly, I warmed up a lot to Elmo once my son became an Elmo groupie; and when he was big on Dora, she started to irritate me more and more. It's to the point now that I largely consider Dora (and Diego, for that matter) somewhere between a extended marketing campaign (to sell more toys) at best, and a fraud (using Spanish to differentiate from a sea of mediocre kids' cartoons) at worst.

I think I warmed up to Elmo because at least he represented innocence and a child's wonder. Occasionally he does show weaknesses, like being selfish, to educate. And though I admit that "Elmo's World" can be irritating (I too hate the Bubbles Martin cartoons, though Mr. Noodle(s) amuse me), at least his themes change and his show legitimately teaches things to kids. Dora seems like the same 15-minute clip over. and over. and over. and over..

Fortunately my (first) son has no cling-on-for-dear-life attachments to any toys or blankets that I can think of. He still sleeps next to an Elmo doll, but it's much less of a security fix than I thought it would be.

[Above Average Joe]

Dora can become a pain in the ass. You better try to find something new. Vamanos!

[whit]

I just hope Elmo takes the hint and doesn't embarrass himself with late night phone calls and crappy poetry. The girl moved on Elmo, take your red felt ass back to the street.

[Ryan]

Dora.. ugh. My eldest has been a Dora fan for about 3 years now, and my three-year-old has been enthralled since she was old enough to talk. There is, apparently, no end in sight.

Am I the only one that gets creeped out at the end when they ask "What was your favorite part of the day?" and then stare out of the TV, unblinking, into your SOUL?

[mamazilla]

elmo is the gateway cartoon... we passed from elmo to dora into the special level of hell reigned by the disney princesses...

i'm just glad she bypassed the doodlebops and boobah completely...

[mr. big dubya]

The little guy has never really been into Elmo - a little bit here and there but never to the point of obsession.

Buzz Lightyear? Well, that's a whole other issue. Little Dub now has a fascination with all tings Pixar - Toy Story, Cars and Nemo. And, actually, I'm fine with it.

And, I'm with Ryan - I hate that staring out from the TV thing - creeps me out. Soulless.

[Jamie]

My son recently kicked Elmo to the curb too...and not a minute too soon in my opinion!

[Whiffleboy]

Has anyone listened to Dora's "boo", Diego? He's got his own show now. My kid had it on in the background and, I swear to God, every line out of his little cartoon mouth was yelled. Literally, YELLED!.

[Jason]

We've just gone through the same transition from Elmo to Dora. I can't decide who is more annoying. I agree with Whiffleboy, Dora pretty much hollers everything.

[JM]

I have gone through some sadness when we have jumped off a band wagon or two but I feel most ashamed that I sometimes try to steer the same wagon as well.

Such is the case when I deleted Wow Wow Wubbzy at least 2 times a day from the DVR for 3 straight weeks in an effort to kill him before he could take hold. It also swings both ways as I am like a bad pusher when it comes to Jack's Big Music Show & The Backyardigans.

I feel bad but not that bad as Jack is back and Wubbzy is now gone for good.