Urinalysis

Our littlest one is smack dab in the middle of potty training and is, quite honestly, doing fairly well with the whole thing.  Although she's yet to launch a sea pickle in to the porcelain abyss, she is now whizzing like a pro on our toilet and has even managed to sit atop a couple of our friend's toilets in rare instances.  She not only wears undies now, but, she's napping in them and has only had one little accident - for which she apologized profusely.  She still asks for a diaper to poop in, with which we don't really have a problem.  The way things seem to be going, that won't last too long either.  We're stoked, we're saving money and we're relieved to end her mental anguish that, apparently, we were causing by never choosing the right diaper out of the pack - Dora and Boots; Dora in the yellow dress; Dora flying; Dora looking East; Dora looking North with one eye closed; Dora ignoring Diego...you get the picture.  Diapers are a mere feces repository now rather than an integral part of her life.

Anyway, as she was learning and becoming more comfortable with the idea of going on a real toilet, she had many, many concerns and questions.  I guess that was just her way to work through it all.  I thought it might be a public service to provide the answers to some of her more frequently asked questions so that, when you reach this stage with your own child[ren], you'll be fully prepared to put them at ease.  So, here we go:

• Yes, Sponge Bob, goes pee-pee on the toilet and does not fall in.
• No, you don't need to use your balance to sit on the toilet.
• Yes, you have a little butt in comparison to mine, but, you will not fall in.
• My poo-poo falls down in to the toilet and does not need balance to do so.
• It is OK to pee on top of Mommy or Daddy's pee.
• California Pizza Kitchen does not want us to, nor, will they allow us to bring your Sponge Bob toilet seat in to the restaurant.
• Although not very sanitary, yes, you can have snacks on the toilet.
• Yes, I guess the dog does, in fact, use his balance to crap in the yard.
• The lack of bubbles in your pee-pee is really nothing to cry over.  Blowing on it will not help.

I hope this can help some of you out.  I guess the key issues here are balance, the threat of falling in to the toilet, sanitary best practices and air-to-urine ratio.  YMMV.