Summertime In The Sanctuary

It's Summertime, gentlemen, and with the blazing heat (residents of the gray mass known as San Francisco excluded) comes the skimpy swimsuits, hot bods and other such eye candy - not that we're looking or anything, of course.  We're just aware, wives.

Anyway, while surfing the net yesterday - OK...it was PerezHilton - I came across something that really put Summer in perspective...if you're a Quaker.  It's swimwear for the modest and wholesome.  Finally, there's something practical and sexy frumpy for those who feel a little leg is a little much.  God knows [literally] that knee caps and shoulders are the gateway body parts to unabashed promiscuity, so, cover that stuff up, sisters in Christ, lest ye tempt thy males.

I'm not going to lie.  This isn't something I haven't seen before.  I vividly remember church youth retreats to the skating rink where the poor ladies had to rock the rink in culottes as hymns blasted through the stereophonic sound system.  Talk about a cock-block!  Even a 13 year old with a nuclear libido like I had has a difficult time making something sexy out of a cute chick with bloody knees limping off the rink after a rambunctious couple of orbits to "Bringing In The Sheaves".  Culottes = Not Sexy.  Always.  Mission accomplished, I guess.

I'm all for modesty, if you so choose, ladies.  And I understand if some of you have issues with your body (theocratic or otherwise), but, seriously...let's not resort to a Spandex undergarment with a potato sack top, OK?  There's a big difference between a day at the beach and a day of beach-adjacent fellowship with your Brothers and Sisters.  Please don't confuse the two.

Comments

[whit]

How funny, I saw this same post on Perez- hey, it's my job to read him, what were you doing there?

I thought about doing a post, but their site was so busy I couldn't get on it. Really.

I can't wait until they come out with a men's line.

[whiffleboy]

The men's line would probably resemble a collared shirt/pleated slacks ensemble. Of course, our hair could not touch the collar or our ears, and, would have to be two fingers above our eyebrows. Oh...and we'd have to have pocket edition of the New Testament with us too. Preferably a red-letter edition.

[JayMonster]

I'm not sure what frightens me more. The fact that I have seen blog posts that actually SUPPORT this type of swimwear (I will not provide a link to avoid problems, but it was on a somewhat conservative Daddy Blogger site some time ago), or the fact that enough people still actually buy this to keep them in business.

[IFLYG]

Finally, "swimwear that highlights the face, not the body"...now to just find a cool Amish beach...

[The Parents Zone]

That's really a good choice of swim wear but what about the kids? Will they accept??

[IFLYG]

OMG - Thanks The Parents Zone! Great site!!

[Mamacita Caliente]

Come on tell me the the tropical blue floral didn't do just a little something for you? LOL. I didn't pay that much for my bikini, I guess your paying for yardage.

[SJ Dowling]

Those brazen Harlots! You can almost see some ankle!

[Suburban Kamikaze]

They have cleverly moved themselves beyond the reach of parody.