We Can't All Be Brad Pitt in "Cool World"

It wasn't long after my last post that my daughter tired of Dora and started demanding her constantly -yelling cousin Diego at nap time.  I'd dreaded this, partially because he has empty, soulless eyes (like a shark) and partially because every time Rescue Pack starts singing I'd wish he'd transform into an explosive device and blow himself up.

Despite our efforts to insert the occasional Backyardigan* or Wonderpet into her diet, though, she's committed herself body and soul to rescuing obscure animals like spectacle bears and pygmy marmosets with Diego.   Early on, as I was watching with Cheeky and pining for the good old days when elephants and horses were cool enough animals, I had a startling and mildly uncomfortable realization.

Diego's sister Alicia is kinda hot.

This isn't the first time I've thought this about a hand-drawn character.  Judy Jetson and Daphne both played important roles in my pre-pubescent development.  Angelina Jolie's got nothing on Jessica Rabbit.  And don't even get me started on the entire female cast of Heavy Metal.  Hell, I'll bet there's more than a couple readers who smurfed to pictures of Smurfette in their day (I'm not one of them, but I know they're out there). 

But I'm old now, and I couldn't help but thinking there's something a little "off" about this fascination with Alicia. 

First of all, she's supposed to be an 11-year old.  I know kids are tarting up younger nowadays, but that's definitely not good.  Then I noticed she drives a car!  The driving age may be different in whatever tropical country they're living in, but come on!  That's some mixed signals you're sending, Nick Jr.

And then there's the fact that it's a children's show.  That I'm watching with my daughter.  Having naughty thoughts about Laurie Berkner is one thing, but the leap from her to Alicia seemed like a chasm too wide to cross.

Then last week I was talking with my brother-in-law while Cheeky was helping Diego and an armadillo win some jungle race.  He glanced up from our conversation at the TV and asked, "Who's that?"

"That's Alicia, Diego's sister," I responded.

"She's kinda hot."

Yes!  Redemption!

Maybe I'll put that poster of Alicia on my bedroom ceiling after all...

* While we're at it, can someone please tell me what the hell Uniqua is?  She looks like a undeveloped pig fetus to me.