Maybe It's Just Semantics

We're members of the local Y.M.C.A. because 1) it's cheap and 2) it's close enough to where I can wad up my monthly payment and throw it at the front desk from my lawn.  I would categorize it as a "pretty good deal".  $50 a month gets my entire family a pool, a gym, and a child-watch facility to watch the young ones while my wife and I hit happy hour work out.  Granted, we've yet to take advantage of the - somehow elusive - ability to "get yourself clean" and "have a good meal" like the Village People were apparently able to do and, quite frankly, neither my wife nor I are jumping stumps to "hang with the boys".  In fact, I don't believe I've even seen many boys around there.  Graying, wrinkled men?  Absolutely.  Lots of [grand]moms?  Yes.  Which brings me to my point...

What the hell were they singing about?  They make the Y sound like a cross between Welfare and a Sandals Resort.  First of all, nothing's free.  According to the Village People, it's a place one should go when one is short on dough.  I call bullshit.  I was late on a payment once and I was seriously in fear for my life.  Short on dough will get your kneecaps smacked, my friend.

Second, I've yet to find "many ways to have a good time".  In fact, I haven't even found one.  And it's not from a lack of looking, I assure you.  I read the flyers and posters.  Group discussions on menopause and free goiter screenings aren't fun in anyone's book.  Again, I call bullshit.  Oh...the "good meal" thing they sing about?  Complete fabrication too.  I can't even find a vending machine in the place for a pack of Nekot Wafers.

They also state [ad nauseum] that it's fun to stay there.  I beg to differ.  Simply put - you can't stay there. There are no bunk beds, cots, or any other amenities of that nature.  Hell, I showed up one morning to find 3 homeless guys crashed out in the courtyard and spent the next 2 hours holed up in a back room while the S.W.A.T. team took them out one by one.  I guess they need to clarify the word "fun". 

I'm not bitching.  Really, I'm not.  Like I said, it's a good deal.  It's just not as good a deal as they said.