Kicked To The Curb

We've amassed a lot of shit in our house over the past 4 years.  First, there was the marriage-merger where my wife and I each pretty much brought everything we owned into the house in which we currently live.  So did my step-daughter.  So, we had 3 beds, 2 couches, 2 tables, something like 6 televisions, 9 closets worth of clothes, 7 guitars, 1 Marshall half-stack and a butt-load of other random shit that was mostly forgotten about until we got around to opening the garage full of boxes 3 months later.  Add to that the collateral material that comes along with having a baby and our household was in danger of being shutdown by the Fire Marshall.  We needed to downsize.

Over the past 4 years we've gradually been able to whittle our belongings down to something more manageable.  With the exception of one small garage sale a couple of years ago (which we will never do again), most everything was systematically given away to one of the most well-organized and reliable charities out there:  The Curb.  "The curb," you ask?  Well, have you ever tried it?

Let me explain to you how efficiently this has worked for us.  We have yet to have any item stay on the curb longer than 6 hours before it is snatched up.  Swear to God.  There's no accumulation of junk sitting around for days like you may think.  In a lot of cases, I can drag something across the yard, walk back to the front door, and, before even re-entering the house, turn around and wave goodbye to the happy recipients as they peel off with their color television, diaper pail, mattress, microwave and/or couch.  Oh...the couch.  That was a beauty right there...

I was finally able to sever the bond with my masculine, black leather couch and let her go after a couple of years of prodding by the wife (see photo above).  It clashed with everything else going on in the room and, quite frankly, we needed the space.  I mustered the will to drag it to the curb and gave it one last pat on the back for a job well done.  (Actually, by this point, it was a pretty easy decision.  Our kids had left the poor thing looking like a pigeon stoop and the taut leather cushions had been reduced to fluffy pillow-like surfaces leaving the couch looking less like a hipster piece and more like something a Nagel painting should be hanging over.)  Not an hour later, an ambulance pulls up, two [rubber glove clad] EMTs get out and stuff the thing in the back of the vehicle.  Yes, a fucking ambulance, people.  Quite frankly, I figured I'd have to arrange some sort of pick-up for the couch when I first put it out there.  That was a pleasant surprise, even though I hope the lads had no emergencies on the way back to the station.

So, you see?  It does work. Yes, I know there is money to be made on sites like Craigslist and eBay for such things.  Yes, garage sales are historically money makers too.  But, c'mon...perhaps we should put aside our desires to always make a buck off something and just give.  Give, I say!  Kick that shit to the curb.