My Andy Rooney Moment

I know I've been slacking when Metro posts more than I have recently.  Honestly, I get to be part of a book deal and I go all J.D. Salinger.

Anyway, I find myself on a cusp.  I'm teetering on the edge of being myself and becoming my parents - and I'm only going that way kicking and screaming.  On the one hand, I like to think I'm tech savvy, tuned into pop culture, up on the latest bands and musical stylings - I'm like D.B Sweeney and Moira Kelley.  On the other, however, I feel woefully out of it; I hear "back when I was a kid" in my head; and I find myself muttering, "I don't get it" all too often - I feel like I should have a blanket on my lap and be watching Matlock, while I wait for an early bird dinner.

Some examples of what I'm talking about:

Bionic Woman: Why?  Why the Bionic Woman?  If you're gonna do re-makes, why not do remakes in order?  Where's the new Steve Austin?  Where's my $97,674,423 Man (updated for inflation, of course - those eyes aren't cheap)?  Where's your originality?  Have your creative juices dried up?  Honestly, were people really clamoring for a return of Jaime Sommers?  I will forgive you on one condition: bring back Wonder Woman (sans big hair, though). 

Cell phone videos: I was watching IMF last night between innings (see, keeping up with what kids these days are listening to - even the Taiwanese girl band stuff), when they aired an ad about getting music videos on your cell phone.  Is this one of those "I am woefully out of it" moments?  Are there a lot of people out there watching music videos (or any videos for that matter) on the 1.5"x1.75" screen on their RAZRs?  If so, how long does that take to download on a 2G EDGE network?  Is it faster than me hitting the on button and seeing it like it was meant to be seen?

American Hero?  Mon Dieu!: "Back when I was a kid," GI Joe was a 12" doll (action figure for you marketing geniuses out there).  He came with a beard or without; kung fu grip or not.  He had all sorts of uniforms: olive drabs, deep sea diver, astronaut.  He had a foot locker with space on the top for every owner to scrawl their own name and rank.  Then came the 80s...and a cartoon...and a greatly-reduced-in-size Joe - but with cooler toys, and fellow soldiers: Snake-Eyes, Duke, Scarlett, Stalker and Gung-Ho.  And an enemy in COBRA.  Fast-forward to today (well, last month actually, but...).  A live-action movie is in development and, in order to maximize global profits, GI Joe is being stripped of his Special Forces affiliation, re-located to Brussels and is now a member of the Global Integrated Joint Operating Entity - ha, get it?  G.I.J.O.E.  Oh, and he might be called "Action Man."  Well, color me excited.  Brussels my ass - is he teaming up with Hercule Poirot for crissake?

Anything out there you don't get?  Or chaps your ass?  Or just makes you feel old and out of touch?  That's enough for me.  I'm tired.  Where's my Centrum Silver?