Dom? Mad? Fother? Mather? I'm Confused.

Well, it was bound to happen. Science has finally reached the point where what was once inconceivable will soon be reality. I refer, of course, to the Wachowskis' Speed Racer, coming to theaters this summer. How dope does that look!?

Also, apparently there's a pregnant guy.

This has caused quite a stir in the Dad-O-Sphere. Greg's take on Thomas Beattie is erudite, succinct, and delivered with sensitivity and tact. The Sun's take on him? Well. Also, they totally stole my thunder - I was all set to riff on the almost completely forgotten Schwartzenegger flick Junior, but no point in doing that now. Wait - is that Emma Thompson? Holy shit! It is! Always a surprise when a renowned actor slums it.

Anyway, back to the pregnant dad: I think I can speak for a great many fathers when I say that Thomas Beattie is a  brave guy, sharing his story with the world, and carrying out his desire to give birth. Yes, brave in the sense that he certainly knew, going into it, that he'd be dealing with bigotry and ostracism from narrow-minded folk. But, much more than that, HE'S PREGNANT. Can you name one dad who, after spending nine months with his achy, nauseous, itchy, hormonal, emotional, hairy-where-there-once-was-smoothness, thought "yeah, I'd like to try that! Where do I sign up?" Oh, and once you hit that nine month mark you have to have the baby surgically removed (well, I suppose that's better than passing the kid through either of the two available exit routes. You thought passing that kidneystone hurt? Try pissing out a 10 pound baby!)  Fuck. That. Shit. I am waaaay too much of a pussy to be a biological mom.  And, dads who are reading this, admit it - so are you. Look in the mirror, look deep into your eyes, into the window of your souls, and say this: "May God strike me down if I'm lying - I would like to get pregnant. Because along with the constant back pain, there's a good chance that I'll develop a hemorrhoid the size of a Titleist."  Yeah, I thought so.

Thucydides said that "the bravest are surely those who have the clearest vision of what is before them, glory and danger alike, and yet notwithstanding, go out to meet it." So, Thomas Beattie, we at DadCentric salute your courage. All that, plus you have to go to your own baby shower? You deserve the Congressional Medal of Honor, dude.

Comments

[Will]

This individual is transgender. While the outside looks all male, the inside is still very much all female. I'm all for an individual's right to sexual identity, but if you undergo sexual reassignment surgery, and forgo the removal of the ability to give birth, you're still a woman. That may seem a slight against the idea that I'm haven't a problem with transgenders, but in this instance, the amount of media coverage and disinformation surrounding all of it is maddening.

"He's" going to be on Oprah for crying out loud!

[Aaron]

Will,
I find that your comment clearly belies your claim that you "haven't a problem with transgenders". The problem seems to be that you don't understand the concept at all. Being transgendered has to do with a person's sense of their own gender being at odds with their physical sex. Transgenderism is wholly reliant on the idea that gender is separate from anatomy, so your claim that the "inside still being very much all female" means "you're still a woman" is equivalent to saying that you think transgenderism is a load of crap.

I can't speak for all transgendered people, but for many or most, transition is about altering oneself to the point that we can live every day as easily as possible as our chosen gender. The fact that having ovaries and a uterus has no effect whether a person on the street will recognize an FTM transgendered person as male makes a hysterectomy a relatively unimportant part of transition. Add to that the fact that it costs $20,000 and most insurance won't cover it and you'll find that a large number of FTMs haven't had one and don't plan to.

Jason,
Great post

[Will]

I fully understand transgender individuals (they aren't a "concept" and "gender dysphoric" is a more accurate term), have done research into it, and have known a few in my day. The outward appearance that a person projects may help identify their inner gender identity, but biology doesn't lie. The fact remains, men can not have children, only women are capable of that blessed act. To say you're a man, live life as a man, have surgery and hormone treatments to help you become a man, but then decide to fly in the face of the gender identity that you've established by "falling back" on your previous gender in order to have a child is a slight against transgender persons everywhere. Thomas is only seeking fame and the celebrity that comes as a result of this unique situation and nothing more.

[Kara]

I've been thinking of this so much that I actually dreamed about it last night so, against all of my better instincts (e.g.: my fear of Will dropping some knowledge on me) I'm going to say.... yes, okay, it's unique, but if his wife didn't have a functioning kidney and really wanted/ needed one, and he gave her a kidney because he had one to give, none of us would be discussing this.
Also, no one can "fully understand" another human being without walking in their shoes. Even then, experiences are vastly different. The best we can do is try, despite our own imperfections, to have empathy and compassion.

[Joe]

I think the vast majority of the transgenered population really needs some intense therapy instead of radical surgery. But then I don't like tattoos either

[dadshouse]

I can't get past the part about having to attend my own baby shower... I shudder to think.

[WiredMonkey]

I was just going to comment that Thomas would be able to have the baby without having to have the surgery, as the articles about this all mention that he is genetically female. So, instead of having incredibly invasive surgery (I watched my wife go through it, and I don't care how small they can make the scar - OUCH), he can have the baby naturally.

I don't think I would say that "'falling back' on your previous gender in order to have a child is a slight against transgender persons everywhere", because I think there are plenty of guys out there who would wish to be able to carry the child if our wife was unable to do so. I don't think it would be easy, but if my wife weren't able to have another child, I know that I would at least give it some thought, were it medically possible. In this case, Thomas was able to because he was genetically female, despite not "being" a girl.

The only problem I have with the whole story is that Thomas was suprised and upset when doctors and nurses treated him as though he were unusual and were uncomfortable with him. You have to understand, despite your desire to feel like a normal guy, that's not going to happen. When you push the envelope like this, those with extreme opinions of this situation are going to react. And you're boudn to run into them.

All that said, I wish them a healthy pregnancy, and the joy of raising a happy, well-adjusted baby girl.

[creative-type dad]

I think that picture is photoshopped. Or maybe he took it right after a Thanksgiving dinner.