Your child's tastebuds could be racist

Does your toddler routinely hold his nose when you serve sashimi?  Throw a tantrum when you're having enchiladas verde?  Shout out Mein Gott! when you roll out the wienerschnitzel?  Well, according to the National Children's Bureau, your child is in need of some re-education because they suffer from oldthink and their dislike of some food is doubleplusungood.

The article states that the Bureau, "which receives £12 million a year, mainly from Government funded organisations, has issued guidance to play leaders and nursery teachers advising them to be alert for racist incidents among youngsters in their care."  This includes children, as young as three mind you, who say "yuk" to unfamiliar foreign food.  Well, hold the phone!  Honey, can you find me the number to the nearest re-education camp?  Junior doesn't like something?  Damn, I just thought he was being a toddler, but apparently he's a racist.  I'm so relieved.  It's not me, it's him.

The 366-page(!?!) report details that even babies need to be paid attention to "in the drive   to root out prejudice as they can "recognise different people in their   lives"."  The 366-page (seriously?!?  366 pages?  WTF?) guide also goes on to say "that children might also "react negatively to a culinary tradition other than their own by saying 'yuk'".  Staff are told: "No racist incident should be ignored. When there is a clear racist incident, it is necessary to be specific in condemning the action.""  Well, yes, I certainly agree with that, but c'mon people.  Can we come back down to earth some time soon?  This stuff is a) silly and b) downright scary.  Why do I say scary?  Well: Nurseries are encouraged to report as many incidents as possible to their   local council. The guide added: "Some people think that if a large number of racist incidents are reported, this will reflect badly on the institution. In fact, the opposite is the case."

Oh, good, we'll start reporting every toddler that looks at General Tso's chicken and closes their mouth tight and soon there will be a nation of Comrade Ogilvys.  Bring on the goodthink!