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May 03, 2010

Let's Talk About Hair

  Bill_Murray_combover
 And no, I don't mean the musical. 

Although there are some good songs to be had there.

My musical experience revolves around Olivia Newton John.

If she is not in it, I don't care.

Anyway, back to the hair.

Why is it that when you reach a certain age as a man, hair starts to grow more in places you don't want it to and less in places where you'd love it to?

I used to have a nice, thick head of hair. But then gradually, as I shampooed it or ran my hands through it before putting a baseball cap on, I began to notice it thinning.

Oh... and fucking receding.

Oh... and on the tiles of the bathroom floor.

Yet, in other places (and you men know what I'm talking about) it has started to creep up and over. There used to be a DMZ around my neck, for instance. But now my neck and chest are marching towards a takeover. You know, I feel like my wrists are suddenly hairier? WTF? I've lost my locks but continue to gain the sheen of a Silverback gorilla?

The thing is both my brothers are virtually hairless; you could totally pick me out of a lineup if the three of us mooned you.

Is this the manopause phenomenon I keep hearing about?

Somebody tell me something.

I want to know, do you have less hair now in places you had more of it before?

Or do you have more hair now in places you had less of before?



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