"I love you so much, my eyes explode and eye jelly and blood cover everything."
"I love you so much, a dinosaur comes and eats everything and smashes all the buildings."
"I love you so much, volcanoes erupt all over the Earth and the world is covered in lava and ash and darkness."
"I love you so much, the whole Earth flies into the sun and explodes."
" Good one honey!" I reply. It's a game we play, the Peanut and I. We tell each other how much we love each other via horrible scenes of death and destruction. The worse the better. It started as a lark one day. A joke between the two of us.
"I love you so much all the trees lose their leaves and the grass dies and the wind re-arranges a dry, dusty planet."
"I love you so much that my ears fall off and my nose falls of and wolves come and eat them up."
Yikes. She is good.
"I love you so much that my brain boils and leaks out of my ears."
"I love you so much that a tornado comes and blows down everything.
"That's a lot of love," I tell her.
The Pman tries to joins in sometimes, too.
"I love you so much crocodiles eat me!"
"Good one, buddy!"
Then, one day: "I love you, daddy."
"I love you so much, an asteroid comes rocketing from the sk-
"No daddy. Nice stuff."
"Nice stuff, daddy. I love you so much, I smile all the time."
"Ok honey. I love you so much, when I walk in the woods, the birds sing your name."
"I love you so much, the sun shines everywhere all the time."
"That is nice, sweetie. I love you so much, that . . . all that blooms is magnolia." She likes pink.
I get an angry face. I had to explain magnolia and bring mommy in to confirm that that one was indeed, nice.
The Pumpkin man chimes in, "I love you so much that I hug you and then you laugh!"
"Daddy," says the Peanut over breakfast. Pumpernickel toast with cream cheese, her favorite. "I love you so much that my heart is filled with flowers."
She was right, of course. Nice is better.