The Poop Deck
We were just finishing dinner when my 3-year-old son asked to go outside to play. His sisters were already in the grass, pretending to be at the beach. Not wanting to go inside to put on a swimsuit, he removed all his clothes and joined in the fun. We continued eating.
Suddenly, my bride began screaming toward the window facing the deck. I looked up. I saw this:
The reason there's a toilet on our deck is because the guys who are renovating the kids' "jack and jill" bathroom put it there while they work. It's been outside a few days now. Long enough that I thought there was no confusion as to its functionality.
My Bride: You should...get a rag or something and clean that thing out.
Me: It's a toilet. It's supposed to have turds in it.
Her: But it can't flush! You're just going to leave it there for the workers to remove?
Me: They won't have to remove it. It'll be a good way for them to test it when it's back in the bathroom. We're helping them with quality control!
Her: You're as disgusting as your son is.
Me: You act appalled, but really you're struggling to contain your admiration for me.
In lieu of fishing out the sewer bass, I closed the lid, which is basically the same thing.