Do not adjust your browser. There is nothing wrong with your PC. This is the shape of Christmas Future, folks: the Upside Down Christmas Tree.

Yes, for a mere $600.00, you can proudly display this flipped fake fir in your foyer or frontroom. According to the manufacturers, the tree evokes the “12th century Central European tradition of hanging a tree from the ceiling at Christmas” (ah, those 12th century Central European traditions – burning witches, going on Crusades, torturing peasants. Very festive!). Also, the tree has a special weighted base so that it doesn’t tip over and crush your kid as he’s rummaging through the stack of presents beneath – a stack which can now be even bigger because there’s ever so much more room for presents underneath the inverted tree, a fact that your kids will most certainly point out.

Seems a bit silly to me, and is certain to cause a bit of an uproar amongst the purists. (Is an Upside-Down Xmas Tree equivalent to an Upside-Down Cross? Anton LeVey – I know you read this site in Hell. Your thoughts, O Exalted High Priest of Satan?) Beth and I are discussing the merits of buying a fake tree this year (Pros: child will not attempt to eat pine needles and try to drink out of the water-filled base. Con: waking up in a cold sweat following nightmares of Linus and the Peanuts Gang giving me a blanket party for buying into the Christmas “commercial racket”). I think, however, we’ll steer clear of this particular nouveau-retro tradition. Next week: my review of the Upside-Down Menorrah.

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