Well, it was bound to happen. Science has finally reached the point where what was once inconceivable will soon be reality. I refer, of course, to the Wachowskis’ Speed Racer, coming to theaters this summer. How dope does that look!?
Also, apparently there’s a pregnant guy.
This has caused quite a stir in the Dad-O-Sphere. Greg’s take on Thomas Beattie is erudite, succinct, and delivered with sensitivity and tact. The Sun’s take on him? Well. Also, they totally stole my thunder – I was all set to riff on the almost completely forgotten Schwartzenegger flick Junior, but no point in doing that now. Wait – is that Emma Thompson? Holy shit! It is! Always a surprise when a renowned actor slums it.
Anyway, back to the pregnant dad: I think I can speak for a great many fathers when I say that Thomas Beattie is a brave guy, sharing his story with the world, and carrying out his desire to give birth. Yes, brave in the sense that he certainly knew, going into it, that he’d be dealing with bigotry and ostracism from narrow-minded folk. But, much more than that, HE’S PREGNANT. Can you name one dad who, after spending nine months with his achy, nauseous, itchy, hormonal, emotional, hairy-where-there-once-was-smoothness, thought “yeah, I’d like to try that! Where do I sign up?” Oh, and once you hit that nine month mark you have to have the baby surgically removed (well, I suppose that’s better than passing the kid through either of the two available exit routes. You thought passing that kidneystone hurt? Try pissing out a 10 pound baby!) Fuck. That. Shit. I am waaaay too much of a pussy to be a biological mom. And, dads who are reading this, admit it – so are you. Look in the mirror, look deep into your eyes, into the window of your souls, and say this: “May God strike me down if I’m lying – I would like to get pregnant. Because along with the constant back pain, there’s a good chance that I’ll develop a hemorrhoid the size of a Titleist.” Yeah, I thought so.
Thucydides said that “the bravest are surely those who have the clearest vision of what is before them, glory and danger alike, and yet notwithstanding, go out to meet it.” So, Thomas Beattie, we at DadCentric salute your courage. All that, plus you have to go to your own baby shower? You deserve the Congressional Medal of Honor, dude.