DadCentric

You talking to me Elmo?

I caught this bit while getting the boys ready this morning.

Maybe it's just me, but I fully expected to hear him say "Look at me, I'm a fucking cabbage."

In Which We Get To The Important Parenting Stuff

Holy hell, people. BPA! It's everywhere and in everything and will kill you and your family until you are dead! I have to say that I knew very little about BPA until recently, when Beth came home one day and told me that we had to toss all of Zoe's (SO FUCKING CUTE, MY DAUGHTER IS) bottles into the recycle bin and buy a bunch of new, non-BPA tainted ones. Which are, of course, twice as expensive as the BPA bottles. (Why is it that when you buy a product that has LESS of something, it costs you more? Example: Fat Free Nacho Cheesier Doritos cost a buck more than Regular Nacho Cheesier Doritos. Shouldn't the Fat Free Nacho Cheesier Doritos cost less, since the company is presumably paying for fewer ingredients - i.e., partially hydrogenated vegetable shortening? Isn't that, like, economics, or something?)

There is a lot of information flying around the Internets about BPA, and consequently lots of opinions about just how harmful BPA is. Many parents and experts are concerned (I believe Greg at Daddy Types has done a post or two on the subject), a few are not (we here at DadCentric strive to be Fair And Balanced!). Me, I look at it this way - if the Lead Peddlers at Wal-Mart think that this shit's too toxic to sell, good Christ, we should round up every last bisphenol-A laden item, load 'em all into a giant rocket, and shoot that sucker towards the Sun.

I'm sure that many of you have lots of questions about BPA, so we've prepared an instructional video about bisphenol-A for you. You can find it here. Take notes - there will be a quiz.

So Cute It Will Make You Squeal Like Ned Beatty in "Deliverance"

DadCentric Formal Apology #32,455

A few days ago, I was interviewed for a piece by Seattle Post-Intelligencer writer Paul Nyhan, who also authors the Working Dad blog. The piece was about the lack of support groups - and parenting resources in general - for dads. It can be found here. I wish to clarify the remarks attributed to me in the article.

While it is true that I said that a father's role has traditionally been to "guard the frontiers against the Visigoths", my intention was not to cast the Visigoths in a disparaging light. I would like to state, for the record, that am not nor have I ever been an anti-Visite. I have nothing but respect and admiration for the Visigoth people. I often listen to Visigoth music ("Music to Put Severed Heads On Long Pikes By" and "Elkskin Tanning Tunes" are two of my favorite albums, and they just happen to be by, yes, Visigoths). I am not ashamed to drink mead when I'm around my non-Visigoth friends. And yes, I am proud to say that I do have Visigoth friends. (Well, they're more like acquaintances.  One is a co-worker, actually. And I only see him at the annual company picnic. Never met met his wife, truth be told. But still.)

I see now the error of my ways, and those of you who have commented that I should have learned my lesson after that 'fending off the Mongol Hordes' comment I made in the September 2004 issue of Ladies' Home Journal, point taken. I can only say that I have come from a broken home, I have battled a debilitating addiction to Dexatrim, I lost an arm in the brave but futile attempt to recapture the city of Hue only to return home to the curses and spittle of flag-burning hippies...well, I have a lot of pent up anger, which I unfortunately vented at the Visigoth people. I see now that my long-held belief that there is a Secret Global Visigoth Agenda was born of paranoia and a deep-seeded inferiority complex, which most likely were an aftereffect of the years I spent frequenting the Opium Dens of Uptown Vancouver. I am sincerely, deeply, and truly sorry if I have offended any Visigoths who may have read my words. I have decided to embark upon a Tour Of Healing, during which I will visit with some noted Visigoth leaders and communities, and make a deeply heartfelt speech, portions of which are still being written by my staff of interns (some of whom are, I should add - with great pride, I should also add - Visigoths). I beg your forgiveness, Visigoths everywhere, and I hope that we can all begin the healing process.

Can You Spot The Class Clown?

Admit it - you secretly hope that your kid pulls one of these:

(Thanks to my buddy Chris for the pic.)

Glad Tidings of the Season

Well, it looks like we're heading into crunch time if you are planning on celebrating anything festive next week.  That said, I thought I would provide some suggestions should you need to sit and relax- more than you do already.

By suggestions I mean beer.

Seasonal beers are a big hit with me, and if they aren't already a big part of your holiday season please note- they need to be.

Here are a few that will make everyone merrier (and possibly better looking):

Anchor Steam Christmas Ale is perhaps the greatest thing to ever come out of San Francisco, or California for that matter.  It is Christmas in a bottle (or glass).  If this is the only seasonal beer you ever drink you will be a better person for it.  I love it so much I want to take it behind the middle school and get it pregnant.  Fortunately, (for my wife) the mouth of the bottle is too small, otherwise that beer would be glowing like a Spears girl at her junior prom.

Pyramid Snow Cap packs a bit of a punch at 7% alcohol content.  It's a great way to accidentally get drunk at a Sonics game.  It too combines the wonders of the season and is worth stuffing in a stocking or two.

Samuel Smith's Winter Welcome used to disappoint me every year.  It wasn't because the beer was bad, far from it, but because the beer went bad.  It used to be shipped in clear glass bottles which, aside from Newcastle, seems to be a killer of good beer.  Light and beer are not friends.  If light tells you otherwise it is lying.  Last year Mr. Smith got smart and started bottling it in a darker bottle and I've had nothing but good taste since.  Really.  Besides, any beer that quotes Shakespeare (not his sister) on the label has got to be top notch.

Truth be told, there are more and more seasonal beers every year, and the three I mentioned are just 3 of the more popular options.  I would guess that I've had over 20 different types of winter brews over the years, and these are the few that I MUST have every December.

If you would like to check out a few more look no further than our own Mr. Big Dubya.  He also likes beer.

Now here's something that should have been done long ago:

Friday Fun: Stuff That I Post Because I Can`

First, parents, as you walk the sometimes treacherous, sometimes tranquil, always enriching Golden Road of Parenthood, every so often you must stop and ask yourselves - am I raising a douchebag?

Second, I am interrupting the Friday Fun-stivities to hawk a new site that I am stoked to be a part of. I'm the Contributing Editor of a new parenting site called Parentricity - it's a great online community created by and for parents. I'm working with some excellent bloggers on the site's blog collective, The ParentRap (clever!), and will be helping to develop additional content for the site. Go check it out, create a profile, and send me a Friend request.

Finally, via With Leather,sports blog Home Run Derby features a tribute to the powder blue uniform, thus proving my theory that only one sports team has ever made the PB Uni look good.

Saturday Silly

So we missed the Friday Funny, it happens.  Here is an example of the kind of email my sister sends me.  She things I appreciate stuff like this, and she's right.  Thanks, Fanny.

 

 

 

   

 

Friday Fun: Special Saturday Edition: May Cause Abdominal Cramps

I could use a good laugh, what with my home turf - San Diego county - looking like the live action version of Cormac McCarthy's The Road. So I'm busy scouring the net for something funny. But first, a little lunch is in order.

Friday Funny: Dignified

More of this here.