As a kid, I remember sitting in church listening to the preacher tell us horror stories about how, any minute now, Communists could come bursting through the church doors [in rural Georgia], put guns to our heads and give us the choice of either denouncing The Lord Jesus Christ or taking a bullet in our skull. Um…excuse me, I’m 7 years old. The entire church membership has already laughed at me because I dog-paddled when I entered the baptismal pool. I’m pissed my Mom wouldn’t let me wear my football cleats to service. Jack Warner, my friend/nemesis, has managed to sit next to the girl in pew 3 that I’m madly in love with, but, who will have nothing to do with me because I accidentally told her her feet stink. Now, I have to figure out what I’d do when the Communists come calling? Hell, I can’t even decide what cereal I want for breakfast.

Yeah, religion was kind of like that for me. Stressful, confusing, scary – everything it’s cracked up to be and more! I thought we Baptists had it bad until I saw this picture of the Shiites doing their thing for Ashura, which I think is the Holy Day of Knife Whacking. Damn, even with the Communist thing I wouldn’t have had to pull my own trigger. I guess I should count my proverbial blessings, huh?

So, I started thinking about the idea of religion and how/if I’d introduce it to my daughters. I will probably wait till one of them asks about it. But, when they do, to where do I point them? (I think I may stray away from the whole Muslim thing – it’s just not getting good PR these days…probably a little un-hip, if you know what I mean). I don’t want to leave them hanging with no response or a “figure it out yourself”, kiddo. I’d like to have some sort of plan of attack. What are your plans for this kind of stuff?

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