DadCentric

Special Guest Dad Ben Cohen-Leadholm Takes Us Ice Fishing

Our friend and today's special guest blogger Ben Cohen-Leadholm is one of those guys that sorta pisses you off because he's thought of a gazillion awesome things to do with kids that you haven't. Ben is the author of the family activities blog Kids Are Awesome But So Am I, helping parents reclaim their mojo through kids’ activities that don’t suck. He is the co-author of Have No Career Fear: A College Grad’s Guide to Snagging a Job, Trekking the Career Path, and Reaching Job Nirvana. Find him on Twitter (@parentingmojo), Facebook (www.facebook.com/kidsactivity), and Email (blswes@gmail.com). Here, Ben has a great idea for a fun activity that'll get you outside on a cold February day: ice fishing.

Ice fishing could probably benefit from some re-branding. Because ice fishing is one of the best (and sadly misunderstood) winter activities around, especially for kids.

Think about the simple yet compelling ice fishing equation: enjoying the outdoors, appreciating nature and wildlife, hanging with family and friends, imbibing some “warming” drinks, and snagging fresh delicious fish you’ll get to eat that night. Plus, there are all the stories you’ll be telling your friends over beers (or whole milk) from the day’s adventures. So push any ice fishing stereotypes out of your mind that you might see on a show like Ice Men on the VERSUS network – those caricatures are both entertaining and ridiculous. For example, you’re not going to get frostbite, you’re not going to fall into a fishing hole, and you will not be defending your catch from bears. Promise. 

SAHD Protagonist: Interview with "Fathermucker" author Greg Olear

Ever read a novel written from the point of view of a stay-at-home dad?  I thought not. 

I don't know if Greg Olear's Fathermucker is the first of its kind, but it's definitely the first one I've read.  I found it gratifying to be able to relate to the main character/narrator as a guy whose overarching concern is his children.  Not just in an abstract sense--providing for them or thinking about their futures--but actually taking care of their day-to-day needs. 

The main plot in the book is a very compelling and adult one, but the world the narrator lives in is all about parenting.  Like the familiar heroes of page and screen who can't escape their offices, superhero duties, or criminal enterprises, Josh can barely attend to the crisis that lands on his doorstep, because he's juggling playdates, fieldtrips, babysitters, and meltdowns.  And unlike many (perhaps most) dads in novels and other media, Josh is much better at parenting than he is at other aspects of his life.

I got a chance to chat with Greg Olear via email, and we talked about his book, the writing process, and parenting.

DadCentric Interviews Top Chef Richard Blais

Fans of great food and Top Chef know Richard Blais: his creative approach to cooking, incorporating the concepts of molecular gastronomy (using non-traditional equipment and materials like liquid nitrogen and blowtorches - think Wile E. Coyote in the kitchen, but without the explosions), has made him an iconoclast in the culinary world. Blais has appeared on three of the four Top Chef series: Top Chef, Top Chef Masters, and most recently, the inaugural season of Top Chef All-Stars, which he won. He's also a father of two, and if anyone can get his kids to eat their veggies, I'm sure it's him. I got the chance to do a phone/video interview with Richard; he's working with the National Pork Board, promoting the Other White Meat, and we spoke about cooking, being a celebrity chef, and raising kids while he whipped up a terrific looking pork chop. (Apologies for the sound quality: I assure you that the voice is in fact mine, and I do not suffer from emphysema.)

 

30 Days of Dads: Dorky Dad, "Father's Day in Haiku"

In spite of his name (and his Dick Yorkish looks), Dorky Dad is the coolest dad blogger I know. Literally. The man lives in Minnesota. It breaks 45 degrees there only three weeks a year. He's been blogging for a lot longer than he'd like to admit and, with the birth of his second son last year, has recently celebrated the death of his free time. He mostly blogs about his family life, which has sapped him of hope and testosterone. This sometimes makes for inspired PowerPoint flow charts or, in this case, poetry about his one special day of the year.

* * *

This month we celebrated Father's Day, the day we acknowledge the lives of those men lucky enough to have had sex at just the right moment. I like to celebrate such days the only way I know how, by writing a bunch of nonsensical poems in the Haiku style, otherwise known as the blogger's, go-to poetry verse. I, unfortunately, am no exception.

Here goes:

I like Father's Day
It's the day we celebrate
Our sperm production

But it takes much more
To be a good dad than that
It takes much money

And time, I suppose
I'll admit, these kids are fun
Then they turn 13

Over the past year
I fixed toys, played ball, made food
For this I get ties

Fathers should like ties
But all they do is choke me
And look obnoxious

If I am lucky
I'll get to sleep in Sunday
Yeah, that won't happen

I will get some steak
Because that's what I demand
But wife can't touch grill

My dad had dentures
He liked to chatter his teeth
It was real creepy

But unlike my dad
I have brushed and flossed and rinsed
So I have my teeth

I've deprived my kids
Of a dad with creepy teeth
I'm creepy elsewhere

Excited, Boy was
At his father's day present
He worked hard to make

I got it today
You'll never guess what it was
An air freshener

An air freshener
He trying to say something?
Like, “Your van stinks, dad.”

I did get a tie
It was made out of cardboard
And said, “Your the best.”

30 Days of Dads: The Collected Dadku of Brian Braiker, Volume V - The Dadku Strikes Back

Braiker. Slarkpope. Dadku. You know the drill.

***

It doesn't count as
Hide 'n' go seek when you say
Where you're going to hide.

***

Imperceptibly
My shoulders have hunched from miles
Of stroller pushing.

***

Yes, your baby doll
Looks much better covered in
Ball-point prison tatts.

30 Days of Dads: Didactic Pirate, "What My Daughter Learned From BP"

I recently discovered Seth, AKA The Didactic Pirate, via our Comments section. Along with being a fellow SoCal dad, dude's a University Professor, so if you enjoy smart, funny writing, by all means head over to his blog. (After you read this post, of course.) Here he talks about the profound influence that Tony Hayward has had over his daughter.

 I think my eight-year-old daughter has been watching congressional hearings on CNN behind my back.  It’s just this sense I have.   

I came into the living room yesterday afternoon to discover a couch full of crumbs.  Pop Tart crumbs.  Very telling.  We have regulations here in the house, prohibiting the unsupervised consumption of Pop Tarts.  Yes, they are acknowledged by all parties to be hearty and delicious.  They are, however, the crumbliest, messiest food in the mass-produced, toastable pastry milieu.  It's impossible to take a bite of one and not spray bits everywhere.   

For this reason, my wife decided that our daughter can only eat Pop Tarts at the table.  Over a placemat.  With a newspapers spread out on the floor beneath her chair.  (Seriously – I don’t know what the hell my kid does with them.  I don’t even see how any of the frosted goodness ends up in her mouth.  For years, I thought she just enjoyed the feeling of squooshing Pop Tarts between her fingers, and letting the crumbs rain down onto the floor.)  

When I saw the crumb-covered couch, I called my daughter downstairs, for I am the Enforcer.

30 Days of Dads: Paul Ruben, "But It's My Blog"

The dad-blog-o-sphere is stacked with stories of raising young kids. But as more and more dads start telling their stories online, we're getting to hear the voices of those whose "kids" are all grown up. Paul Alan Ruben, a writer and two-time Grammy award-winning producer who lives in New York City, sent us this story of a discussion he recently had with his older son.  

“No.”

“But it’s my blog.” I protested.

"Dad, you can’t put your essays on the blog.”

“Why?”

“Because that’s not a blog’s purpose.”

“It’s my purpose.”

“Dad.”

Uh-oh. His tone, still compassionate, has defaulted to "Right, I am talking to a Luddite" mode.

"Look, you don’t post formally written essays on a blog, unless they’re published. Then you can provide a link to them. One of my old Columbia professors has a blog."

My twenty-five year old son graduated from Columbia University in May with an MA in English Literature. A philosophy guy, he favored literary theory over ‘the novel’. Rather than dissecting a specific novel in order to draw a conclusion based on a particular theme, he preferred delving into how we should read fiction in the first place; like, the philosophy of novel reading.

"Look, I really don’t have to go to your professor’s blog."

"You should."

Now the father who graduated in the middle of his class from Yankton College, S. Dakota, is getting a teeny bit defensive. "Why, because she’s from Columbia?"

"Trust me. It’ll help you blog properly."

Our eyes swerved to the kitchen counter; Brandon swiftly grabbed his vibrating cell phone and, like he always does, pressed it to his ear as if Obama were on the other end. "Yo! Julian, ‘sup…my bad, but I’m down for tonight." Brandon’s voice faded as he left the kitchen. "No, just talkin’ to my Dad..."

There I stood, alone, holding the blog, so to speak.

30 Days of Dads: Special Saturday Edition - Fashion Dad's Last Minute Tie Tips

Tomorrow is Father's Day, of course, and of course some of you waited until the very last minute to get that dad in your life a present. Statistics show that at least 45% of you will end up buying him a tie. (We accept that. You can't help yourselves. It's Society's fault. Damn you, Society, with your outdated stereotypes/marginalization of dads!) So that you don't muck that up, we've enlisted Eric Burgess, aka Fashion Dad, to help you make a good choice. 

Ties have always gotten a bad rap on Father’s Day. As far back as I can remember, Father’s Day and Neckties have gone hand in hand. However, it was always one of those things where your dad probably secretly wished he got another gift instead. It seems though that ties have made a complete comeback as they can be worn so many different ways now. I know the list below isn’t complete – but it’s enough to help you figure out which category your dad or husband belongs in.

 

The Hipster Tie: Hipsters rejoice! With your cardigan sweaters and tight jeans, you too now have a tie to match your style. Prints in this category are completely across the board, but always on the skinny end. Hipsters love ties because they like to accessorize.

The Loose Tie: Casey Affleck is seen here wearing his tie loose. While this tie is more in the ‘How to wear your tie’ category, I thought it was appropriate to point out. Any tie will work in this category (except a tie that reads "WORLD'S GREATEST DAD" - those are never appropriate for anything), though the skinnier the better.

30 Days of Dads: The Collected Dadku of Brian Braiker, Volume IV

Dadku flows from Brian Braiker like bullshit from a BP executive's mouth. Please enjoy this, his latest batch of poems. Like Forrest Gump, they are simple, yet labyrinthine.

***

Mr. Chuck E. Cheese:
I suspect that "E" stands for
E. Coli. BOOYA!

***

Saturday: 9p.
Torn between Netflix and bed.
My younger self weeps.

***

"You want to eat some
Ice cream/candy/string cheese/pie
For breakfast? Ask Mom."

***

I hate to tell you:
That cat never scratched a soul
Until there was you.

***

You've taught me so much.
Like: my LP collection
Doubles as Frisbees.

***

So maybe I laughed
When under your wee nose you
Drew a Hitler 'stache

30 Days of Dads: Homemaker Man, "Liar"

The mysterious New Englander known only as Homemaker Man has one of those resumes that will one day land him his own talk show or in jail. He is a former  dishwasher / short-order cook / baker / deli man/ grant writer / sketch and stand up comic / mailman / partier. Up until recently, he also drove a Zamboni. Now, he describes himself as simply "a devoted and tired family man" who also writes one consistently funny blog about his life called Musings from the Big Pink.

* * *

I heard the Pumpkin Man, my youngest, crying. 

The Peanut was standing over him while he lay on the floor, face down, wailing. There was a favorite toy between them. I peeled him off the floor. 

“Did you push him?” I asked The Peanut, who was then 2.

“Yes,” she replied.

Just like that. “Of course I pushed him,” my girl seemed to be saying, “he was touching my shit.”

“You pushed him?” I’m smooth when I’m surprised.

“Yes,” she repeated. Her tone indicated that, while a very nice man, I’m not the shiniest coin in the fountain.       

After I recovered, I said, “Thank you for telling me, that’s very good. But you don’t push your brother. It’s not nice. OK?”

(Solemn head nod of agreement)

That perfect arrangement of my daughter acting as her own stool pigeon – at one point I convinced her to wear a wire — was rearranged a few weeks later.

“Did you push him?”

“No, he fell,” she’d say, removing her hooded coveralls along with the duct tape she had used to seal the openings around her rubber boots and gloves. She watches a lot of CSI. 

Things snowballed from there.