DadCentric

Facial Hair and Fatherhood, Bro

We DadCentric dads always go into Movember with an initial bit of reluctance. Not about the cause. Not even an asshole is for prostate cancer. (See what I did there? SheBAMsky!) 

Is it the requisite child molester jokes we are subjected to? The '70s porn star references? The embarrassed looks we get from members of the Hell's Angels?

Not at all. Our deepest, darkest fears were exposed Monday night on the CBS sitcom How I Met Your Mother: 

So let's see who among us is ready to make out with Alyson Hannigan:

The Holmes looks like he might share a motel bed with his brother Randy

Kevin auditions for a remake of 'A Fish Called Wanda'

Jason accessorizes his 'stache with its own hat

Muskrat decides to re-enact the Civil War on his face

BetaDad shows off his mustache's versatility

Weigh in with your choice for best mid-month mustache in the comments.

Better yet, donate to our Team of Facial Hair Frenzied Fathers as we near the $10,000 mark to support men's health issues. Do it and I'll share my nachos with you, bro.

Stiff Upper Lips: Movember, Week 2

It's Day 7 of Movember. So far the massive Team Of Dads is crushing all expectations; we've past the $5,000 mark and are on our way to $6,000 in donations - all in the first week. So what are you getting in return for your donation? Well, along with the satisfaction of knowing that you've contributed to the fight against prostate cancer and other men's health issues, there's the fun of seeing us looking like the nerdiest biker gang ever. Here's how some of your participating DadCentricians are faring, facial-folically speaking:

As of Thursday, Kevin was starting to show a bit of shadow.

The Holmes hit the Restart button on his beard.

True to form, The Muskrat is growing whiskers.

I'm looking a bit Edge-y.

More updates as we go along. Feel free to pass along your sympathies to our wives.

 

Two Rides Home: A BlogHer11 Recap, More or Less

Photo by Backpacking Dad

Back in April, a few of us DadCentricians went to New Orleans to represent the patriarchy at a little shindig called the Mom2.0 Summit.  I wrote a recap of that experience here, and if you read it, you may remember that I was very excited to have met a bunch of my imaginary friends in real life, spoken on a panel, and talked about blogging nonstop for 3 days.

While Mom2.0 Summit is no mere Tupperware party, the annual BlogHer conference is what I like to call the Mother Of All Mommyblogging Conferences, or MOAMC, and this year it drew somewhere around 3,000 attendees.

This year, BlogHer was held in San Diego, America's Finest City (fact!), where three of us DadCentricians (the boss, The Didactic Pirate, and me) happen to live.  So it was a no-brainer that I would attend.  And I did.  We three dudes from the Daygo (that's what gangsta dads call San Diego) met up with Two Busy, Whit, and TheMuskrat, and kind of did the same thing we did in New Orleans.  Except we weren't on any panels.  And some of the guys brought their wives.  (To a mommyblogging conference!  Imagine!) And instead of bunking with a bunch of grubby dadbloggers after the nightly debauchery that's standard for all mommyblogging conferences, I went home to my family.  So, as I was saying, the experience was almost nothing like Mom2.0 Summit.

I believe that The Muskrat will soon be contributing a recap that will focus on the poignant and inspirational experiences of the conference, so I would simply like to share a couple memorable interactions I had with some fellow dadbloggers while riding home after the evening's activities.

DadCentric Acquires The Muskrat, Looks To Make A Playoff Run

We've added a power hitter to the rotation: The Muskrat, who brings the lumber every time he blogs. A few of us have had the pleasure of hanging with him in Real Life, and he's an all-around great guy who threatens to bring some much-needed class to the joint. If you haven't read his stuff, please go to his blog (the aptly named "The Muskrat") and do so. We at DadCentric are pleased to continue to bring you some of the finest dad writers on the Internet, and we look forward to whatever bloggy awesomeness The Muskrat has to offer. 

 

The 5 Most Important Things I Learned at the Mom 2.0 Summit

Since Whit gave such a great recap of the Mom 2.0 Summit, I'll dispense with the background information and charge directly to the meat of the matter, which will be of especial interest to you bloggers out there who missed it: the most important insights I gleaned during this, my first blogging conference.

1. Conferences are where you connect with the Big Players in the Industry.  Wow.  I met so many movers and--yes--shakers, as well.  These are the people who make parent-blogging the multi-thousand dollar business it is.  I was privileged to meet CEOs and CFOs of marketing and advertising organizations.  We talked about monetization, SEO, brand-building, and a lot of other really important things that I don't understand at all.  Then we exchanged business cards.  Theirs were printed on much higher quality paper than mine, and weren't softened by pocket sweat.
2. Being a daddyblogger at a conference full of mommybloggers makes you an automatic rockstar.  In my case, Sting. As a feminist, I'm fervently opposed to being fawned over by mommybloggers.  It's degrading to everyone involved.  How hollow it is to be given undue attention simply because you are among a group of maybe twenty men perceived as a sensitive, artistic, and yet roguish at a gathering of 3500 women.  Women amped up by a rare weekend away from their kids, a fleshly realization of their online camaraderie, and piles of shiny swag.  For a fella, the attention can be daunting.  The constant dinner invitations, "where you at?" tweets, photo ops, and unsolicited hugs.  Objectification goes both ways, ladies.  
3. It's really difficult to stay completely sober for any length of time in New Orleans. It's almost as if they want you to drink a lot.  You can enjoy adult beverages as you walk down the street, and there are no rules about when bars or liquor stores should shut down.   Some sub-headings I would include if I were better at formatting: 1) I thought I had stopped liking bourbon a long time ago; but it turns out that I was just drinking bad bourbon. 2) The much maligned and widely banned sports drink/hobo wine called Four Loko is in fact the very nectar of the gods, gushed forth from the fountain of youth, and replete with rejuvenating electrolytes.  3) You will never be alone in a bar at dawn in New Orleans.
4. Meeting your imaginary friends In Real Life is way better than just meeting regular people.  What are the chances that you would meet some schmo off the street and have days worth of conversations and ideas to share?  Slim, right?  But as geeky as it sounds, all the folks I met that I "knew" from our blog/facebook/twitter interactions exceeded my expectations of how they would be in real life.  With one exception: I never would have guessed that Whit Honea would be the kind of sadist that would torture a sentimental drunk who is separated from his family for the first time, and known to be sappy about dogs, by showing him pictures of his own recently deceased dog being hugged by his adorable children and causing said drunk to weep openly in a bar/laundromat at 7:00 a.m.  So not cool.
5. The stars are aligned for the ascendancy of the daddyblogger!  This time for real.  The folks that brought us Mom 2.0, in collaboration with fast-talking New York schmoozer Doug French (Laid Off Dad), are cooking up a for-real daddyblogging conference that will go down in the spring of 2012, called the Dad 2.O Summit.  This will finally put us on the map!  Our relevance in the marketplace of ideas will be acknowledged!  Our influence on the purchasing habits of American families will be recognized!  Our voice in the conversation about the future of the family structure will be heard!  At the very least, we'll get to hang out together in a cool city and get lots of free AXE products and boner pills.  And Four Loko.

 

This is how they serve it at the Ritz

 

I didn't really take many pictures at the conference, so I just added this random shot of Sting and a fan

 

 

 
 

     

 

 

 

 

Mom 2.0 Summit, Now With Dads

 

Do you know what it means to miss New Orleans?
And miss it each night and day?

My liver does. I draw your attention to the photo above, tentatively entitled "Zombies at Happy Hour, Circa 5 a.m." -- identities protected for obvious reasons. I'm the one in the middle.

The thing about New Orleans is that it tends to lend itself to late nights (see above). That's a given. Turns out that NOLA is also the perfect setting to hold a wonderful conference. Who knew? The Mom 2.0 Summit people. They're smart.

Fellow DadCentrician Andy, aka Beta Dad, and I were invited to the popular conference to speak on a death panel concerning our (read, dads) role in the ever changing world of blogging. It was Jason's idea, but he couldn't make it. Chicken. Andy and I were joined on stage by the southern hospitality that is John Cave Osborne, and we made the whole thing legit and authentic by having Catherine Connors assume the role of moderator. It was Tanis Miller's idea, but she couldn't make it. Also, chicken.

With all due respect to one Muskrat, who was kind enough to blog the session for the official conference website, I'd like to recap the event for those of you that were unable to attend, namely all of the people that promised me that they would, in fact, attend, but then skipped out. Don't think I didn't notice.  For the record, we played to a full house. Eat that, John Stamos.

Here's what happened: Catherine said a lot of smart stuff and asked a lot of intelligent questions. John talked about weed. More from Catherine, still smart and intelligent. Andy said something deep and when he smiled HE LOOKED JUST LIKE STING. John added something charming and the audience loved us. You could see it on their faces. Then I started cursing. Then I cried. Then I threw a chair. I may have cursed again. And talking about this? Crickets. Fortunately, Catherine recovered nicely. Andy and John touched upon a number of nuggets, made some solid closing points and then we went drinking.

Feels like you were there, doesn't it?

Maybe you were. The crowd was full of writers, dignitaries and incredible conversation. It would be remiss to mention names as I would undoubtedly forget someone in the process and that would not be nice. That's how feelings get hurt, people. Just know that the room was packed with awesome. And us. But mostly awesome.

This is where I would go into great detail about the topics we discussed if I could actually remember them. To be honest, it is something of a blur. In fact, I spent most of the session starring at my focal point (Ron Mattocks' hair) and remembering to breathe. Every now and then I'd realize that I was still speaking and quickly hand the microphone back to Catherine. Regardless, I'm pretty sure that the people (you know who you are) enjoyed themselves, and I'd like to think we made a difference in, if not their lives, then at least their hour. Give or take thirty minutes.

The point is, no matter how you define the world of parent blogging, or what you hope to give to or take from it, it is evolving, and a lot of good people are investing their time and talent to make sure we don't disappoint Darwin. Any jackass can be a monkey. We're taking this movement upright.

In a nutshell, we nailed it. #winning

The same could be said for the brilliant people behind Mom 2.0. The conference was full of great advice and free food. The sponsors were friendly and informative. The nightlife was memorable (except for big chunks of it). We spent the entire weekend meeting fantastic people, pouring Four Loko into whatever they were drinking and having our pictures taken by Dooce (the photo above was not taken by Dooce, who was probably in bed, but rather our bartender, who may or may not have known thought we were idiots).

The dads, while an admittedly small group, represented well (don't see above), and our presence was acknowledged with some big, breaking news during the big, breaking news portion of the closing keynote. Here it is: In 2012, just before the world ends, there will be a Dad 2.0 Summit. And it will be fantastic. Save the date.

You read it here firstish.

And if anyone says that 2012 is the year of the dad blog, we'll cut you.

 

Special thanks to Andy and John for allowing me to sit between them, and to Catherine for agreeing to herd us at the last minute. Also, thanks to Jason for sparking the discussion and Tanis for helping shape it, sorry that you were both unable to join us. We really appreciate Muskrat's blogging of the event, the questions and attention from those that attended, and the trust placed in us by Mr. Doug French. Thanks for having us, Mom 2.0 Summit!

Neither chickens nor Ron Mattocks' hair were harmed in the making of this post.

DadCentric's Best Dadblogger Of All Time Ever Contest!

"Best Of" contests are a tricky thing. Some say that only experts should be the judges, that the public simply lacks the necessary gifts of discernment and good taste required to determine which chef, author, writer, director, or star should be nominated for a Grand Prize. Others say that the culture determines the artist's value, and that popularity should count for something. One can make a convincing case for either argument: Jersey Shore never won an Emmy, but then again, Titanic got a Best Picture Oscar. 

We've watched with great interest over the past several days as dads have competed for votes at Circle of Mom's Top 25 Dadbloggers contest. Sadly, DadCentric was not nominated. We're bummed, because getting recognition from a mom-focused site that clearly holds dads in high regard and is not using an easily gamed contest as linkbait is something that any self-respecting blogger strives for. Sadder still, our intern has informed us that we could have easily nominated ourselves, thanks to the contest's Self-Nomination Button. THIS IS WHY WE GIVE YOU FREE M&M'S IN LIEU OF PAY, STUPID INTERN.

So, in the spirit of healthy competition, the cornerstone upon which Western democracy rests, we've decided to put on our own Best Dadblogger Contest. Top Ten? Top 25? Eh. Too complicated. Like Conner MacLeod, we believe that there can be only one. Because honestly, who gives a shit who the 24th Best Dadblogger is? Certainly not the Big Brands, who are poised to hurl stacks of cash, "review copies" of the latest Blu-ray releases, and bags upon bags of sweet delicious M&M's at the dadbloggers who win contests like these. And rather than muck things up with a disjointed nomination process, we're going to keep it simple. None of this "Fill Out A Form And Place Our Badge On Your Site" nonsense.

We'll settle this in the Comments section, like men. If you're a dadblogger, nominate yourself in the Comments below. Don't email your friends to do it, don't Tweet to your followers that oh, there's a really awesome Best Dadblogger Contest going on at DadCentric and boy wouldn't it be cool if someone were to nominate me. Tell us why you think - nay, why you KNOW - you're the best Dadblogger in the Dad-blog-o-sphere. The winner will receive the recognition and prestige that comes along with being named DadCentric's Best Dadblogger Of All Time Ever. And you'll get this awesome trophy:

We'll announce the winner on April 1st.

Movember: Week One Recap!

Last week, our Merry Band of Mustachioed Men embarked on their Movember quest. How are things growing? Let's have a look-see.

Kevin's gone through a couple of looks, still trying to find one that his wife he likes.

Whit's all about the scruff.

The Didactic Pirate is going for the Shel Silverstein look. Like this:

(Shel Silverstein - number one on the list of Top Ten Authors of Children's Books Named Sheldon With Whom You Would Not Want To Fuck.)

As for me, I documented every day of my first (work) week. (Movember turned into NaBloPoMovember, it seems.)

Please help us further the Movember cause (as well as justify our folicular flights of fancy to our wives and families) by stopping by our DadCentric Movember Page. Thanks so much for your support!

'Do Fun Stuff' Today: Download this Album for a Worthy Cause

Today marks the release of Do Fun Stuff, an iTunes kids' album for adults compiled by one-time DadCentrician Ryan of Pacing the Panic Room to raise funds for and awareness of Smith-Magenis Syndrome (SMS), a rare chromosomal disorder that can cause a host of physical and development issues.

Doctors diagnosed Ryan's son with SMS about a year ago and he has been working since shortly after that it seems to get musicians, friends and total strangers together for this cause. It's an amazing feat.

As a father with a daughter who also has a rare disease, I understand the frightening and frustrating situation Ryan and his wife Cole face too well. You scream and cry and curse everybody and everything then you bang your fists into the pavement. But then you bandage your bloodied fingers, take a cough drop for your throat and figure out what you can do to keep going because you know if you don't do it for your kid, nobody else will.

Watch, listen, buy.

So Long I'm Six from The Panic Room Videos on Vimeo.

Song: "Nothing," Steve Foxbury from the Do Fun Stuff album

The DadCentricians: Flash-Sideways Edition; Also, A Major Announcement!

This week was special: all of the DadCentric guys ran into each other in Vegas, had some drinks, bet on the NBA Conference Finals games and won a shitload of money, hung out with the Rat Pack, and then went to an Elvis Wedding Chapel, where we all hugged each other before walking through a doorway bathed in incandescent light. Then I woke up on the couch, wiped the slurry of sleep-drool, tortilla chips and vodka from my chin, and realized It Was All Just A Dream. Here's what everybody else did. (Oh, and Croutonboy and Warren haven't been posting because they're temping for Hurley and Ben.)

Greg learns that guns and elevators don't mix.

Kevin falls apart, and feels the sting of vengeance.

The Holmes goes for a drive.

I continue to ramble on about the Lost finale.

And now, The Major Announcement.

Next week, we're bringing in a boatload of guest dads - writers, bloggers, and some other special guests - for something we're calling 30 Days of Dads. Every weekday in June, we'll have a different guest dad writing about...well, whatever he wants to write about. We're not big on convention around here. So screw Father's Day - June is Father's MONTH. We hope you'll join us.