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Question for you all: when is a vacation not a vacation? Answer: when, two days into your trip to the beautiful Boca Raton Resort and Club, you’re out having a nice lunch at an absolutely fantastic Cuban restaurant when you look at your kid and you notice that the entire right side of his face has swelled up to twice it’s normal size, thus causing you to freak out and haul ass to the local hospital where four hours and one blood test later the doc tells you that your kid has somehow come down with a case of the mumps. Or as I referred to it, the “what the fuck? The mumps? The fucking mumps? Like what Bobby Brady had? Those mumps? Are you bullshitting me?!”

Yeah, I know what you’re thinking – isn’t this the same kid who has managed to pick up Kawasaki Disease, 5th Disease, and croup? Indeed, and yes, I’m now making a concerted effort to stop taking the Lord’s name in vain, because Jesus H. Christo Con Queso golly, it just seems weird that he keeps picking up these bizarre viruses, like the kid is a two-year-old Job. So I decided to get all Quincy-like and do a bit of research. Turns out that there was actually a case of mumps here in San Diego several months ago; nothing on the scale of the Iowa outbreak. So who knows how he picked it up. Chances are he got it from some kid whose parents decided not to give their child their MMR. So now he’s stuck at home for the next few days – even though he’s looking and feeling much better, it’s very contagious (well, duh), so no daycare for him.

A final note to the story: on the drive in to work this morning, 91X DJ Chris Cantore (new dad and genuinely nice guy, and yeah, he’d be a great pick for Dad O’The Week! Maybe we can make that happen. I’ll have my people call his people.) and crew were discussing the topic of immunizing kids. I called into the station and gave my two cents to the good people of San Diego, and I’ll say the same to the rest of you. Get the shots, people. ‘Cause, really.