Today is Blog Action Day. Thousands of blogs around the world are united to bring attention to a single worthy cause. That cause is Climate Change. We here at DadCentric are in favor of not changing the Earth’s climate. Because we don’t want to walk around wearing Specially Designed Environmental Suits. See, we like to drink and if we had to wear Specially Designed Environmental Suits because the Earth’s climate had changed, rendering the planet inhospital to humankind, we’d be annoyed because of the whole “gotta take a piss, dammit, need to retreat to the BioDome and take off the suit” thing. Plus can you imagine trying to change a diaper on a kid when he’s wearing a Specially Designed Environmental Suit? Plus the whining: “But DAAAAAAAAAAD! I don’t WANNA wear my Specially Designed Environmental Suit! It’s STUUUUUUPID!” Plus the giraffes would probably die out. And who doesn’t like giraffes?
More important, we feel that stopping Climate Change is imperative because frankly we really don’t want to hear Roland Emmerich gloat about how prophetic his 2004 CGI schlockfest The Day After Tomorrow was.
DadCentric’s writers come from all across the political spectrum, and yet we stand united. We can think of no greater tragedy than to hear writer/director Roland Emmerich (Godzilla, Independence Day, 10,000,000 BC) saying things like “You zee? I vas RIGHT! People laughed at my moofee, with ze floods destroying New York City and ze tornadoes destroying Burbank and ze almost realistic-looking CGI wolves chasing Jake Gyllenhaal. If only you had heeded my eerily prophetic warning! I knew the truth and none of you believed me! If only I had made a sequel! Oh vait! I did! And let me tell you something – John Cusack CAN carry an effects-heavy action film!” And then Roland Emmerich would be appointed UN Commissioner of Climate Change and Matthew Broderick would be his spokesperson and he’d set up a secret slush UN slush fund to finance his movie career and we’d get ID2: Independencier Day and…well, that future is not one that I want to live to see.
So we implore you. Do your part. Help stop Climate Change. For the kids. And the giraffes. Don’t forget the about the giraffes.