"May you live in interesting times" is one of my favorite sayings; I modify it to "may you know interesting people". Jay Allen certainly qualifies; the blogger formerly known as The Zero Boss was one of the first guys I started reading when I entered the blog-o-sphere. Always outspoken, never outgunned, and rarely backing down from a good debate, he's been a big influence on me and a lot of other bloggers. One of DadCentric's original members, Jay fills us in on what he's been up to, and offers up his opinion on the state of the dadblogosphere. Like you thought he wouldn't.
The State of Dadblogging? Fracked If I Know.
By Jay Andrew Allen
Dear Hey You:
I don't read your blog.
It's nothing personal. I barely even read mine.
I haven't blogged regularly for two years - which is Internet-equivalent to the span of the Jurassic Era. Back then, Facebook was a nice toy, and Twitter had not yet begun to topple dictatorships. The parenting blog explosion was still nascent; there were only handfuls of moms, and a smattering of dads. Blogging wasn't just a platform for writing, but a social networking tool. It's how we parents - busy, stressed beyond stress, and confined to our homes like white-collar crooks with ankle-locks - connected with one another. It was distracting, and it was fun.
It was also insanely soap-operatic, and instrumental in more than one personal meltdown. But let's not dwell on that. Oh look, a shiny object...
Now it's 2009. Social networking has supplanted the kaffeeklatsch function of blogs, making it easier to stay connected to one's online buds in 160-keystroke outbursts. I mean, Tourette's as a model of human interaction? Honestly, I didn't see that one coming. As for the blogosphere? Bloated and moribund, overridden with celebrity gossip and pictures of cats in need of English classes.
What's a daddy with four cute rugrats and a writing bug to do?
The answers are as different as dads are. Guys like the noble DadCentric crew keep chugging away, digging for answers to deep questions like, "How does a busy dad get enough sleep?", or, "How many times can a kid ask for chocolate milk before every synapse in your brain blows out?" Dads like BHJ do us the favor of calling other dads out on their self-deprecating bullshit.
Me, I've taken to not blogging about my kids - to writing less about myself at all, actually. What I do write online is more geared toward ideas and culture than to my daily grind. Offline, I've rekindled my love of short fiction, and am unleashing most of my creative energies there. Let's just say that 2+ years of Internet drama plus a blown marriage have rendered me circumspect. The people who are close to me deserve their privacy. And I've learned to value mine.
Still, if it weren't for blogging - and for the dads who came before and after me - I might not be writing at all. Dadblogging was a necessary evolution. It re-awakened my Writer's Spirit. I'll always look fondly upon the friends I've made here - moms and dads, my fellow parental warriors and occasional status update-er.
To those of you who slog on: I salute you. And I meant that "self-deprecating bullshit" quip. If you don't do enough, do more. If you do your share, own it. Don't apologize for being a dad. Be proud.
Now get back to work.
Sincerely,
Jay
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