I hope my corner drug dealer has a return policy for Benzodiazepine because I didn’t need it after all. I’m talking about our flights to and from Florida, of course. Our little one surprised the hell out of us by being really, really, cool on the plane – well…as cool as a two-year-old could be expected to be when confined to a tube speeding across the sky at 30,000ft. Aside from a couple of small breakdowns and grumpiness on the descents she was cool as a cucumber.

I’ll have to chalk some of the credit to my wife and I as we were on top of our game the entire time. We had a huge bag of never-before-seen toys, a 1/2 dozen DVDs and a video iPod with some Mickey Mouse shit on it that I overpaid for on iTunes. We also transfered the entire contents of our pantry in to a backpack. We were prepared.

Of course, the bulk of the credit goes to Lu who performed like a champ. Yeah, her attention span was 1/4 what it is on the ground and she was a little temperamental, but, I’d go nuts myself if I were strapped in to a car seat staring at some stranger’s greasy cabeza for 3 hours at a time.

The peas duh rezistunce (sorry, been a redneck for the past 10 days) was on the flight back. The final leg from Dallas to L.A. was on my watch since only one of us could sit with the girls at any given time. She was getting a bit antsy and it was becoming a challenge to keep her distracted. I’m no Job (sorry, been around Southern Baptists for the past 10 days) and I tend to become frantic when my patience begins to wear. I decided on an experimental approach to the situation as a last resort…and it worked. For about 20 minutes, I kept responding to her barrage of requests with two simple words: After nap. My hope was to plant the napping seed in her little brain so she’d chill out, get some rest and, hopefully, wake up as we were landing. Well, the picture says it all. She dozed off watching Elmo and woke up as the Captain came blaring over the intercom to prepare for landing. She was a bit grumpy, but, more importantly, I wasn’t. And sometimes, that’s all that matters.