A few days ago, I was interviewed for a piece by Seattle Post-Intelligencer writer Paul Nyhan, who also authors the Working Dad blog. The piece was about the lack of support groups – and parenting resources in general – for dads. It can be found here. I wish to clarify the remarks attributed to me in the article.

While it is true that I said that a father’s role has traditionally been to “guard the frontiers against the Visigoths”, my intention was not to cast the Visigoths in a disparaging light. I would like to state, for the record, that am not nor have I ever been an anti-Visite. I have nothing but respect and admiration for the Visigoth people. I often listen to Visigoth music (“Music to Put Severed Heads On Long Pikes By” and “Elkskin Tanning Tunes” are two of my favorite albums, and they just happen to be by, yes, Visigoths). I am not ashamed to drink mead when I’m around my non-Visigoth friends. And yes, I am proud to say that I do have Visigoth friends. (Well, they’re more like acquaintances. One is a co-worker, actually. And I only see him at the annual company picnic. Never met met his wife, truth be told. But still.)

I see now the error of my ways, and those of you who have commented that I should have learned my lesson after that ‘fending off the Mongol Hordes’ comment I made in the September 2004 issue of Ladies’ Home Journal, point taken. I can only say that I have come from a broken home, I have battled a debilitating addiction to Dexatrim, I lost an arm in the brave but futile attempt to recapture the city of Hue only to return home to the curses and spittle of flag-burning hippies…well, I have a lot of pent up anger, which I unfortunately vented at the Visigoth people. I see now that my long-held belief that there is a Secret Global Visigoth Agenda was born of paranoia and a deep-seeded inferiority complex, which most likely were an aftereffect of the years I spent frequenting the Opium Dens of Uptown Vancouver. I am sincerely, deeply, and truly sorry if I have offended any Visigoths who may have read my words. I have decided to embark upon a Tour Of Healing, during which I will visit with some noted Visigoth leaders and communities, and make a deeply heartfelt speech, portions of which are still being written by my staff of interns (some of whom are, I should add – with great pride, I should also add – Visigoths). I beg your forgiveness, Visigoths everywhere, and I hope that we can all begin the healing process.