Here we are in Arizona at a resort near the London Bridge. Yes. That London Bridge. We arrived Saturday after spending Friday night in Vegas. Consider me one of the convinced when it comes to Vegas. Wifey kept apologizing for not being able to spend more time, but I reassured her that I now have more than enough incentive to return. And, like MacArthur, I will return. I won’t bore you with any details because, well, our time in Vegas was spent walking the Strip. No Hold ‘Em tournaments. I didn’t have to sell of Little Dub to pay off any debts to some crime family. It was, all in all, pretty vanilla – I am so disappointed in myself. What kind of example am I setting for my son? It’s nothing exciting, but I can tell you what I’ve learned on this first travel experience with the little guy.

Apparently, when fully loaded with baby stuff and luggage, I resemble both Joey and Chandler as they chased after the bus carrying Ross’ son Ben. Don’t remember? Head over to Mrs. Big Dubya for a pic.

People will avoid you like the plague at security checkpoints if you are pushing a stroller, carrying a car seat base with a diaper bag slung over your shoulder and you are frantically trying to get all this on a conveyor belt while trying to remove your sneakers. Even more so when said stroller is too big for said conveyor belt.

Remember: when bringing a car seat on a plane and there is space to take a seat, car seat must…MUST…be placed and secured on the window seat.

Act like an utter moron and place and secure car seat between you and the wife, then, while taxiing, frantically struggle to undo the seat belt and transfer car seat to window seat. Do this and I can guarantee you at least one free beer.

I have officially abandoned the drinking phrase, “It’s noon somewhere.” From now on it’s “They’re drinking in Vegas.”

And, just one final thought. What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. Ok, I get it. But, when you were back home in Iowa and you tried on that dress, what made you think it was gonna fit any better in Vegas than it did in front of your mirror at home? Some things are better left never making it to Vegas, let alone staying.