Fitted sheets are evil and if the alternative wasn’t worse, I’d say that they should be rounded up and burned, every last one of them, because several studies have indicated that trying to fold a fitted sheet is the leading cause of death for fathers between the age of 19 and 65. I don’t give a shit who you are. You may be the most well-rounded Modern Father on the planet – the Justin Timberlake of Committed Dads! – but you can’t fold a fitted sheet. Yeah, you think you can, but you can’t. Not like this lady. She’s a linen-folding mutant (The Sheetress! Lady Threadcount!) who could teach a class at the Xavier Academy. Witness a miracle. This is like Doug Henning making a life-sized origami Harley-Davidson Fat Boy. Only better.