“Daddy.” From the back seat, not a question, but a statement/request, usually an indicator that some kind of demand is about to be foisted upon me.

“Yeah. What’s up.”

“Um, I think I need to go to Target to get a Bumblebee Transformer.”


“Yes. Because I have Optimus but I need Bumblebee for him.”

“Ah. Well, you know, Christmas is coming…”

“But I think I need Bumblee now, not at Christmas.”

“Yes, well, we can’t start buying toys now, because if we do, then Santa won’t have anything to bring you.”


“Daddy, I don’t like Santa. He’s a bad guy.”


“I don’t like Christmas and I don’t like Santa. So I don’t want toys from him.”

“So that means what, exactly.”

“So because I don’t like Santa I don’t want him to bring me anything and so I have to go to Target to get my Bumblebee Transformer now.”

(Next week: Lucas uses DeMorgan’s Theorems to explain why he shouldn’t have to eat his broccoli.)