I almost made a huge blunder last night. Get this: I almost put the baby in the bathtub with his diaper still on. Can you believe that? Thankfully, I caught myself, and avoided making my first ever parenting mistake. As it stands, my fatherly record is still perfect.

I’ve come close to fucking up before. Like that time I was changing one of the boys’ diapers. I had him laying down on the changing table. I turned my back for a second and he rolled over, and would have rolled right off and landed on the floor had I not caught him in time. Yeah that would’ve sucked.