Sean Connery and Romeo Void taught me something a long time ago: Never Say Never. Well, in Sean’s case it was Never Say Never Again, but you get the point. You’re smart.

I think I need to clarify a bit here, get you all on the same page; get the ball rolling as it were. I am a victim of this recession. One of the double-digit percenters currently searching for gainful employment. The organization I worked for was apparently delusional when they hired me and fully expected that by the very act of hiring a fundraiser, money would start flowing into its coffers. However, they didn’t understand to what extent their reputation and community awareness were, well, non-existent. People do not throw money at an organization solely because you ask – go figure. As I slowly tried to establish them as an organization worthy of support, they decided they could no longer pay me – even though a year’s salary had been allotted for just that purpose. I should have heeded the warning signs, but I ignored them: no strategic plan in place, no interest in outside counsel, no interest in board development, etc. Red flags every one of them. Surely indicative of an organization so insulated and insular as to not see how they are perceived outside their own walls. Fully believing its own self-generated hype. For an organization that bills itself as being wicked smaht, they do some wicked dumb stuff. Pissing contests over who’s the smartest in the room are what children do, not adults. And every day was a pissing contest. Whatever.

Honestly, even though this experience left me jobless, I am happy to be away from them. They’re toxic. Unfortunately, the experience did leave a bad taste in my mouth with regard to fundraising – I love doing it, but I’m gun-shy now. And, to add to that, the organizations thatĀ couldĀ use my help, can’t afford me and those that can, aren’t hiring. Very Joseph Heller-ish. So, here I am doing volunteer stuff like golf tournaments and grant writing – fulfilling but not in monetary fashion – as I flood places with resume after resume. Is not teh awesome. But I continue because, well, something’s gotta hit, right? Maybe. We’ll see. Breath: not holding it.