No, I’m not talking about gambling.

I’m not much of a gambler, although I recently bought Powerball tickets the last few weeks here in my home state of North Carolina because the jackpot had gotten up to a staggering $141 million. But I didn’t win it.

Like I said, not much of a gambler.

What I am talking about is your toilet paper.

How do you roll with your roll?

Mine hangs from top to bottom, if you must know.

Years ago, I penned a piece for a zine I was writing for called Salt For Slugs surveying people on how they wiped their ass. Do you bunch? Or do you fold? Front to back or back to front? Yes a deeply personal question but it was one I needed answered. People wipe their butts every day. Surely one has a technique?

I know I do.

As a parent with two growing boys I’ve had to share the technique; as the parent who was at home during the potty training years it was my job. But it got me thinking at all the things one has to learn on their own because of the unspoken rule of not talking about whatever it is that is unspoken.

I don’t supervise the wipe anymore so I can’t say if they’ve implemented what I’ve taught them but I do know that they adhere to “use a little, flush a lot” motto. After a few clogged toilets and an overflow or two due to excessive use of tee pee it was a necessary philosophy to share with them. At least while they are dumping on my turf.

As dads and parents, we are here to guide, to educate and to illustrate how things should be done to our sons and daughters.

So let’s hear it.

Got a favorite brand? Favor the double roll over the regular?

Enquiring minds want to know…