I’m always amazed when our almost-2-year-old daughter imitates our behaviour. Sometimes for good, like when she pops baby’s dummy (pacifier) back in her mouth for the 3,457th time that day. Other times not so good, like when I’m changing her out of her pyjamas and I place a loving hand on her arm in anticipation of a little snuggle and she says, “Mummy, piss off.”

Just like that.

I know who’s to blame totally for this one. And even though it’s Freaky Friday – a perfect opportunity to dump my other half in the proverbial shit, I’m afraid I have to hang my head in shame and take full responsibility for this one.

Let me try and explain…

We have two dogs, two furry little terriers. And since our first girl’s birth almost two years ago, I just haven’t felt the same about them. And as hubby will testify – that’s a massive understatement.

I used to let the dogs sleep on our bed. I’d give them home-made food every day rather than letting them eat the tinned variety. I used to take them everywhere – even to the supermarket.

Looking back on it now, obviously they were the stereotypical substitute children as I approached my thirties [sticking pins in a voodoo doll] waiting for hubby to come to the party and start a family with me.

Every time I walk outside there’s a wagging, fluffball just dying for some attention. And there always seems to be a hard, plastic, spiky toy placed right in the middle of the mat, which I inevitably stand on. I think once or twice (possibly on a few hundred occasions) I’ve hurled the words ‘piss off’ in their direction.

So now whenever our girl tells us ‘leave me alone’ or ‘go away’, she uses the more colourful, socially-unacceptable-for-a-child version.

I try not to laugh in front of her when she says it, even though it’s the most adorable and funniest thing. People tell me I won’t find it funny when she says it in public, but I think that’s when I’ll be laughing the hardest.

Back to the four-legged creatures… I’ve spoken to a couple of friends about this and they also wanted nothing more to do with their dogs as soon as babies arrived on the scene. So how common is this experience?

I do feel guilty about not loving the dogs as much as I used to, but hey… that’s just another thing to add to my MotherGuilt list.

[posted by Wifey of Chocolate Makes It Better]

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