Collect the specimen by masturbation directly into the covered container that you were given at the time of surgery and take specimen with the requisition you were given to the appropriate laboratory as instructed by the nurse.

I believe it has been amply demonstrated that we DadCentrists are more than willing, giddy even, to write about the joys and sorrows of that often winced-at bit of scrotal surgery known as the vasectomy. Between Jason’s public service announcement, the floating head video with the dudes from DadLabs and DadWagon, and my own post-op conversation with my balls, we’ve spilled a fair amount of blog ink covering the topic. We’ve touched upon the decision making process, the actual procedure, and the pain and discomfort experienced in the days following surgery. There is, however, one aspect of vasectomy that we have yet to discuss: the follow-up.

You probably know this already, but for those of you who don’t, a vasectomy does not immediately render a man sterile. In fact, the vasectomized gentleman remains quite viable for up to several months, so in order to be sure that none of your beloved’s eggs become unwittingly fertilized, it is necessary to have your sperm count checked to be sure that it has dropped off as expected. That way, you’ll know that you’ve arrived safely in the recreational zone.

Of course, as you can see from those instructions up there in italics, the process of acquiring a sample is itself recreational.